Dec42013

Dear Lord Akeldama: Fabric Choices & Champagne

My darlingest of darlings, it has been too long, but guess who is dropping by my blog today? Yes, you know it’s true …

Dear Lord Akeldama ~ Fabric Choices & Champagne

That sparkliest of sparkly vampires!
That sharpest tooth in a gum of afterlife!
The maddest baddest wielder of italics!

Lord Akeldama!

Confused Foptopus asks: Kind of a serious question, but it vexes me so: why is love, affection, compassion etc so taboo/distasteful/not ‘done’ among the supernatural? Wouldn’t being around forever give one more cause for appreciating such things, rather than less?

But darling pumpkin cuddle, such things make the afterlife so terribly terribly messy. You know, we vampires abhor a mess. Leave such things to the werewolves, that’s what I always say.

ValerieP asks: As one who enjoys immortality in the highest of social stations, I assume you have a wealth of generations of idioms to select from. In reference to your usage of the word, “La,” what term would be comparable in the twentieth (or 21st) century?

Gracious me, prickly puff, I hardly dare contemplate the matter. La, but what a question! Perhaps, as the modern parlance might have it, the subjective exclamatory use of the word “dude”? But goodness gracious me, can you imagine a vampire utilizing the word “dude”? Oh no, I’m giving Miss Carriger ideas.

Melody Powers asks: Are there any particular fabrics or colours you would recommend for a poor young lady with the unfortunate habit of sweating a lot? Ones that don’t show the sweat marks. Or possibly any great insights you can share on how to reduce said sweating?

What a positively tragedical predicament, my shimmering grapelit. First, let us be clear, young ladies do not sweat, they glow. Second, why not join us and adopt supernatural hours while living in jolly old London-town? Avoid the the sun altogether, who needs it?

Lady DarcyDevotee asks: You have many gallant and dapper young MALE drones but I’m curious: Do you have any FEMALE drones? If so, where do I submit my application?

Miss Carriger reliably informs me that I am Not To Answer this question. Miss Carriger is one of the few females whose advice I must heed, and that’s only because she controls my entire existence with the iron pen. I am loathe to admit such a thing but she could even, if she wished, write me into second death or have me lose all my beloved italics. Tis the greatest sadness of my existence, that I am behooven to an American Hussy of Questionable Moral Fiber and Lackluster Literary Skill.

Scapebabe asks: Despite the fact that it does not truly provide you any sustenance, are there any foods that you enjoy, either because of the flavor, texture, or visual aesthetic appeal? And if so, what are they? I require new additions to my recipe box.

Champagne darling, bit of bubble, tot of the old fizzy. And, for that matter anything made with champagne. How about Pink Champagne Cake? And, of course, anything with fresh blood, there is a lovely cooking book entitled Bite Me circling the back alleys at the moment  but I suspect you aren’t quite of that inclination, yet…

Miss Gail

  • Want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? You can only do that through Gail’s newsletter, the Chirrup

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Posted by Gail Carriger

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Comments

  1. Mayor Apple said:

    Hello! Please excuse me if this has been asked before, but will the last two mangas get released? I know how these things can go sometimes but I would so love to have all ten PP books on my shelf 🙂

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