It’s Story Time! Gail’s First Fast Food Experience (Miss Carriger Recommends)

The Story of Gail’s First In-N-Out

So I was raised without fast food, Gentle Reader, and it wasn’t until I was about 20 that I had my first Drive Through Experience, and it was at In-N-Out a popular indy burger joint here on the West Coast. I was driving, which meant I had to do the ordering. It all began with my utter confusion over the menu.

Gail: Why are there so few choices?
Friends: Because there’s a whole secret code to ordering.
Gail: There is?
Friends: Yes, you want the Double Double Animal Style.
Gail: I do? That sounds rather naughty. But, OK.

Next up the completely incomprehensible speaker box (which turns out to be fast food standard issue).

Speaker: MMMMasdmsadm
Gail: What?
Speaker: ASdaslkdjdasdkajdasl
Gail: Um. Hi Charlie?
Speaker: ASdkalsdjaldj
Gail: Help me.
Friends: Just give it your order.
Gail: OK.

Finally, we made our way to a window, where instead of giving us food, they took money (food apparently came out the next window). The cashier being an adorable Asian boy I was slightly flustered. Particularly when he said:

AAB: Here’s your change. Would you like a lap dance with that?
Gail: Would I like a lap dance!?!
AAB (without missing a beat): Sure
Friends (in hysterics): Lap mat. He wants to know if you want a lap mat.
Gail: Lap mat? What the hell is a lap mat? I’d rather have the lap dance.

Which is why, Gentle Reader, whenever a visit to In-N-Out is suggested, someone in my group of friends will pipe up with,

“Would you like a lap dance with that?”


Gail’s Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:

Your Tisane of Smart:
Food Time Line
Your Writerly Tinctures:
All About Bookscans

Vamp Angel says,

“Even the chapter titles are amusing, for example: Chapter One – In Which Parasols Prove Useful; Chapter Two – An Unexpected Invitation; Chapter Three – Our Heroine Heeds Some Good Advice; Chapter Four – Our Heroine Ignores Good Advice, and so on. The cover is also wonderful.”

Quote of the Day:
“Cheese – milk’s leap toward immortality.”
~ Clifton Fadiman

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Posted by Gail Carriger

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  1. GentlewomanThief said:

    I LOLed… You know, you could be onto something there – fastfood with a lapdance while you wait… Though, I have to ask, what is a lap mat? We don't have such things in the UK (as far as I know, anyway).

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