The Story of Gail’s First In-N-Out
So I was raised without fast food, Gentle Reader, and it wasn’t until I was about 20 that I had my first Drive Through Experience, and it was at In-N-Out a popular indy burger joint here on the West Coast. I was driving, which meant I had to do the ordering. It all began with my utter confusion over the menu.
Gail: Why are there so few choices?
Friends: Because there’s a whole secret code to ordering.
Gail: There is?
Friends: Yes, you want the Double Double Animal Style.
Gail: I do? That sounds rather naughty. But, OK.
Next up the completely incomprehensible speaker box (which turns out to be fast food standard issue).
Gail: Um. Hi Charlie?
Gail: Help me.
Friends: Just give it your order.
Finally, we made our way to a window, where instead of giving us food, they took money (food apparently came out the next window). The cashier being an adorable Asian boy I was slightly flustered. Particularly when he said:
AAB: Here’s your change. Would you like a lap dance with that?
Gail: Would I like a lap dance!?!
AAB (without missing a beat): Sure
Friends (in hysterics): Lap mat. He wants to know if you want a lap mat.
Gail: Lap mat? What the hell is a lap mat? I’d rather have the lap dance.
Which is why, Gentle Reader, whenever a visit to In-N-Out is suggested, someone in my group of friends will pipe up with,
“Would you like a lap dance with that?”
Vamp Angel says,
“Even the chapter titles are amusing, for example: Chapter One – In Which Parasols Prove Useful; Chapter Two – An Unexpected Invitation; Chapter Three – Our Heroine Heeds Some Good Advice; Chapter Four – Our Heroine Ignores Good Advice, and so on. The cover is also wonderful.”
Quote of the Day:
“Cheese – milk’s leap toward immortality.”
~ Clifton Fadiman