Gentle Reader, the vampire of your dreams is here…
What is your opinion of Dracula?
It seems to me, my dumpling, he was rather misunderstood. I am afraid his biography might have had a hint of conservative propaganda about it.
Two nun asks: Is Dorian Gray a supernatural? And if so, where is he?
Dear me, I do believe you are asking the wrong Dandy. I suggest you best query Mr. Wilde for that information.
Gonçalo Mil-Homens asks: Do you know any Vampy Eire?
Have you made the acquaintance of Miss Thursday Next? I recommend directing you question at her a charming young lady, and so very diverting. Or have I the wrong Eyre?
Carlos asks: How do you look at this new wave of “I want to be human” vampires?
I find it disturbingly regressive, somewhat akin a human suddenly wanting to be a fetus. At some point we must all admit to our toothy selves that such desires are childish. Also, one shouldn’t play with one’s food. One shouldn’t even play as one’s food. Oh, I’m so diverting.
Catarina asks: Do you read vampire fiction? Did you like any of the vampires described there?
Of course I do, my poppet, I adore High Fantasy. I must say I find a certain young Eddy perfectly scrumptious. A bit brooding at times, and strangely fascinated with schoolgirls, but we all have our youthful indiscretions.
Audra asks: Plaid — is it ever okay? (What if it’s taffeta or silk?)
Plaid, ever under contention, must be handled with extreme care and attention to detail. There are not many fashions I claim are better left to the ladies, but plaid, I feel, may be one of them. Far to many actors have a propensity for plaid, and those (dare I say it?) gentlemen simply takes such things too far. Poor Mr. Tunstell, I fear, has quite gone over to plaid.