Dear Lord Akeldama ~ On Men, Fashion, and That Telegram

In a surprise second appearance so soon after the last, please welcome Lord Akeldama back to the blog, Gentle Reader. Take it away Mr. Fancy Pants…

Gwaihiril asks: My college senior ball committee appears to have made our senior ball steampunk themed. How exciting! The only problem is that it’s still black tie and men are encouraged to wear tuxedos. Do you have any ideas on what to do if my date wants to both fit the dress code and look steampunk?

Oh no no, the mind boggles. Sadly, I believe afterlife’s distractions means that this event has already passed. So I will merely say the fool is always he who is under-dressed out of a fear of commitment, whether in life or at a ball.


Suit  1810  The Los Angeles County Museum of Art

Ext_1092252 asks: Dear Lord Akeldama, I have a dear friend that, while being quite kind, simply refuses to even attempt any form or sense of style or dressing properly. Do you have any ideas of how I can convince him into some proper clothing?

My creator suggests, if he is a geek, you explain to him how style is much like hacking. You can hack the way people think about you. She also suggests this blog post on the matter.

Beth asks: As regards the purloined telegram of rear admiral Hall fame (1917) …. Can you finally tell us your involvement in that affair, I mean really, it was done with such, intrigue, I can’t believe you weren’t involved… And did you EVER see anything so silly as Count von Bernstorff in bathing dress? Oh MY!

Now now my dear bumtiddlyumpkin, there is a very wise saying: A gentleman must have some secrets, a vampire must have many.


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Traipsing Trillium asks: Do you sometimes find it difficult to not be able to travel freely?

Someone wise one said that if you travel far enough you will eventually meet yourself. Having experienced a modicum of this at the British Museum, I could not imagine a more horrific fate then the actual reality of such an encounter. Thus, my solution was to stop traveling. I am quite content with this lot in the afterlife.

Jami asks: What is it with men? Male friends get on me saying that because I won’t approach a man first I’m “not confident” yet turn around and whine about how “all girls want a***oles” – and why do they never get the girl? Because they won’t talk to her first! And I’ve noticed more and more guys thinking women who verbally abuse their men are “hot” and “sexy” – I don’t get it. Since when is being put down and bullied “sexy”? Basically I’m asking – Why are men so freaking WEIRD?!

Oh dear me, my darling cupcake. Men are not at all weird, they are blessedly simple. It is confusion over this matter at causes most problems in life. The most important thing is for you to know what you want, and to ask for it. Perhaps they never get the girl because the girl never talks to him first. Go hunting, my cupcake, go hunting.


Waistcoat  1790  The Los Angeles County Museum of Art

TG asks: My question to you is this – if someone actually has a figure (ie a waist, boobs and hips) what type of clothing should they be considering for a workplace in an academic institution? Yes, I am an avowed blue stocking, and I love clothes, I struggle to find professional looking clothes that don’t look like a sack on me, and make me feel girly. Please advise!

Librarian chic is always a good option. This all over the autocratic country set. Lots of well tailored and cut tweeds, plaids, and knits. Velvets for special occasions. This allows for easy hair and make-up, simplicity of design, a wardrobe built on investment pieces, ladylike retro cuts, and rich fabrics. It also makes you look commanding and smart, two qualities most desirable in an academic.

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Quote of the day:

“One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.”

~ Oscar Wilde

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Posted by Gail Carriger

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  1. Tassiegal said:

    Dear Lord A,
    Thank you so much for your sage advice. I sense a wardrobe re-organization may be on order for this avowed academic.

  2. Jane Mary Rose said:

    Dear Lord Akeldama,
    How do you feel about the recent flood of extremely attractive males in British television? Do you have a particular favourite?
    Also, and I'm ashamed to say this question is a little personal, do you miss a certain horse whose name began with 'B'?

  3. nirrivahn said:

    Dear Lord Akeldama: Prof. Lyall mention at the beginning of the "Heartless" a mysterious notation, making a note in the BUR archives. He describe you as the "Subject V-322-XA"; letter "v" as vampire, some incomprehensible numbers and the letters "XA" ( initials of your full name perhaps?) Do you have any idea how we can translate it?

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