Lord Akeldama has whisked by the blog and hijacked my post today, Gentle Reader, as will happen occasionally. And, my freshwater pearl, I am not permitted to say anything more on the subject.

tsgeisel asks: You seem to refer to everyone with affectionate, semi-patronizing nicknames: sweet darling, little cherub, etc. Given your, um, extensive history, it’s probably fair. But are there any names you will not permit yourself to be called? And any names you’re fond of, that can be mentioned in polite (or at least non-scandalous) company?

Oh deary me, my inquisitive little jicama. I don’t believe there is, although I do try to avoid those that might be perceived as too insulting, like banana britches. Although some among my acquaintance might find that flattering. As to calling me by pet names, I find them endearing if not exactly commonplace.

unclemonster asks: Is there an actual book of love and if so, who indeed is the author?

Sappho.

Bright Young Things at Wilsford by Cecil Beaton, October 1927; William Walton, Cecil Beaton, Stephen Tennant, Rex Whistler, Georgia Sitwell, Zita Jungman and Teresa Jungman (Source- theredlist.com)

docxen asks: Are you a ploy by the queen of vampires to make them seem less threatening even almost a bit ..”divalish”

My dear fellow, I am no one’s ploy but my own and I resent the implication!

AnnikaCanSaveUs asks: I am a girl who prefers more old-fashioned masculine attire. Can you advise me on wear to start?

Ah, my dear, I always begin with Bond Street. My creator suggests you try thrifting in the men’s section and tailoring things yourself. She began her long and sordid history with steampunk in the gentleman’s quarter of Goodwill. I know not of such things.

1760 Waistcoat  1760  The Metropolitan Museum of Art

docxen asks: Were you the one who invented blood pudding?

Goodness gracious me, Scottish? Food? Meat related? I see your point about the name, my darling mignon, but in all other respects it has the mark of werewolves crawling all over it.

shonrichards asks: Would giving my werewolf friend a lint roller be considered rude? His clothes are always picking up hair.

Not if you gave him this one coupled with a companion bottle of liquid courage by the same name.

derekthebard asks: How best should a gentleman pair a top hat with regular dress?

Is there any other way to leave the house but top-hatted?

And how tall should said hat be?

Hat height should be commensurate with the height of the individual wearing it and the depths of the gravity of the occasion. Both being an inverse proportion of sublime mathematical complexity.

LowBelow asks: When was you born, and where?

A long long time ago in a country far far away.

TheCaptainSmollet asks: I’d dearly like to know, if you’d be so kind to answer, how long have you known Professor Lyall? I understand he’s been in the area a good long while. When did you first meet him? Did you ever work together or really interact before he came to you for assistance with the Westminster hive and Alexia? And I just wanted to say your hair is absolutely fabulous.

Lord Akeldama is delighted by the hair compliment but finds his memory on the subject of a certain Professor extremely vague.

Duke Carl Theodore in Bavaria

Mythusmage asks: Would you ever take blood from a saint? Around here a drop of saint’s blood has the habit of healing the vampire.

And round here they say spotted dick is a marvelous name for a desert. One shouldn’t believe everything one hears.

Susan asks: Since you enjoy wit are you a fan of Oscar Wilde? If so, what’s your favourite work of his?

Dorian Gray of course, darling. Reminds me of a man I once knew. To which I am sure you will say, cheekily, “Only one?”

antique-royals-tumblr 1850s

tristan-os asks: I have recently come to terms with the fact I am a transgender man (assigned female at birth but not actually so). But the problem is I have no knowledge of men’s fashion. Do you have any tips on finding a personal style, or even on what a shorter than average man with wider hips and a preference for slim fits over baggy ones should wear?

Welcome to the fold, as it were. A slim fit is a most excellent place to begin. Fit is ever the most important factor. I should start in the men’s section of the type of establishment that stocks a wide range of brands so as to try on different items and get a better sense of which brands fit you best best. I suspect you may have to find a skilled tailor or learn to do so yourself. Alternatively, it is also possible to lean in favor of a style most exaggerated and esoteric: vintage, Chap, hipster, Goth. This sort of look allows for a leniency in fit by settling under the umbrella of one particular look.

Kevin asks: I would have loved to have been one of your drones, any qualities required other than youth and beauty?

There are other qualities?

And that’s all for now

Miss Gail

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Quote of the Day:

“She was a pretty enough girl in a droopy, blonde, saucer-eyed way, but not the sort of breath-taker that takes the breath.” … “I don’t want to wrong anybody, so I won’t go so far as to say that she actually wrote poetry, but her conversation, to my mind, was of a nature calculated to excite the liveliest suspicions.”

~ Right Ho, Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse

Tags: DEAR LORD AKELDAMA, Victorian Fashion