Before we start, Gentle Reader, and thinking of fashion, this is a reminder that I have an Instagram feed. So if you are there, so am I!
And now, please welcome the gentleman vampire back to my blog this week.
As always Lord Akeldama is happy to entertain your questions. And while he may not give you the answer you wish, he always gives the question the answer it deserves. Please feel free to leave more in the comments below for a future column.
Dear Lord Akeldama
Aubrey (@LIWpride) asks: Do I wear makeup for a job interview/presentation or no?
Makeup is only warpaint by another name, my blushing pearl.
Michael asks: Which members of the Royal Family have benefited from your fashion advice over the centuries?
None of them, my ducky darling. Have you seen the way those poor unfortunates dress? Some, I believe, have been listening too closely to Baroness Tunstell. It is sorry state of affairs. I did, however, have a lovely correspondence with Mrs Kennedy once. Pity about her husband, if only the local hive had been a little faster.
Gina asks: I wonder what you think of Trump.
What’s that? A new cut of meat? The butchers are getting rather daring these days. I should ask my cook what he thinks, I’m convinced his opinion is more valuable on the Trump chop, or what have you, than mine could ever be.
Ember asks: What is your favorite knot to use for tying a cravat?
The mathematical, in my case, I enjoy the sense of irony.
Nicole (@chrisiant) asks: Scent, discreetly applied. Is it a delightful accent, or intolerable intrusion? Also..long skirts plus wheeled chair – help!
For scent, less is always more. Unless, of course you cherish an intense interest in werewolves, in which case you should leave it off entirely. Werewolves have a propensity to sneeze when in the company of perfume. My creator’s preference is for a nice body scrub or skin cream, rather than a heavy dousing of scent. And she hopes it goes without saying: NEVER when engaged in aeronautic pursuits.
Long skirts and wheelchair? This is much like long skirts and the bicycle, my flowy lotus blossom, a legitimate excuse for dress reform! And while my daughter and I disagree on the particulars of underpinnings, I am able to move with the times enough to admire certain aspects of a New Woman’s mobile glory.
Kim (@KimEnglish66) White shoes in winter, yes or no?
Whatever best suits the outfit, of course.
Josh asks: What do you look for in a drone?
A natty dresser, a certain breeziness of morality, a zest for life and information in equal measure, and of course, beauty. As I am sure you well know, my lovely, beauty is less in the eye of the beholder than it is in the mouth of the vampire.
- Want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? You can only do that through Gail’s newsletter, the Chirrup.
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Dear Lord Akeldama & Parasolverse Ephemera
Being a collection of vampire advice columns, silly steampunk philosophical treatises, and deleted scenes from the Parasol Protectorate and more!
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Quote of the Day:
“You can’t live without me. I’m like cheese.” It took a second to process his comment.
“I’m sorry, cheese?”
“Sure. Air’s overrated. Try living without cheese.”
~ Change of Heart by Mary CalmesTags: Lord Akeldama