Please welcome the gentleman vampire back to my blog this week, Gentle Reader!

As always Lord Akeldama may not give you the answer you wish, he always gives the question the answer it deserves.

Rudderbuddy asks: Where did you get you love for food and floral related nicknames?

You can think of a better source of endearments?

Melissa asks: When visiting the home of a new acquaintance for the first time, what is the most appropriate gift, or is a gift necessary?

I’m always in favor of something small and edible ~ chocolates, bubbly, svelte young men with sparkling eyes and questionable moral fiber.

Jessica asks: What is the best possible way to go about mixing patterns in fashion choices?

Keep your colors close and your sizes separate. In other words, mix a large pattern with a small one, but make sure they are both black & white.

Mandy asks: What fashions would you put a butterfly of a toddler in, considering that she likes to run and climb…

Waistcoat and trousers, naturally, darling. Or perhaps a very small lab coat emblazoned with “evil genius in training,” just to keep everyone around watchful.

Sharon asks: I’m considering becoming a vampire queen. Suggestions? Hints?

Endeavor to be as fabulous as possible.

Tracy asks: If one has an extensive library, do you recommend shelving them by height, color, or some other system?

Color, setting, and approval rating.

Avery asks: If one must color one’s hair and belonging to the male gender with pale olive skin would you advise, ginger or blonde or black?

Black, my darling little eliá.

Irene asks: If one is setting up a network of secret agents, what is the best type of training for them: espionage, assassination, accountancy, or a combination?

Never forget table manners, wardrobe selection, and hat decoration. Oh and the consumption of peas. Peas always give trouble to those who have not been trained properly.

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Miss Gail

• Want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? You can only do that through Gail’s newsletter, the Chirrup. 

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“I have only two things to say to you, Lord Tilbury. One is that you have ruined a man’s life. The other is Pip-pip.”

~ P.G. Wodehouse

Tags: DEAR LORD AKELDAMA, Tea & Nibbles, Victorian Fashion