Dear Lord Akeldama ~ On Beginnings, Cats & Hats

Once more into the breaches dear friends!

Lord Akeldama is back to dispense wit, wisdom, and insults in equal measure. He’s being very brief and short with you today, Gentle Reader.

Dear Lord Akeldama…

What was the Queen like at the time of your transformation?

Which queen? Me, mine or someone else’s?

How did it all begin?

It was messy. Beginnings always are, sadly. Any writer will tell you that.

Chartreuse, yes or no?


What is the proper protocol when instructing young people about the dangers of despotic dictators?

Become one yourself for a day, see how they like it.

Jabot 1900 The Metropolitan Museum of Art

In the fantastic modern world of ours what would you do?

Take over all parade management. It’s just not good enough. Measures must be taken!

Assuming you were as savvy with electronic technology what would you use the internet for first? 

Bring back breeches, world domination, and drone recruitment… in that order.

How do you feel about losing your werewolf neighbors?

They were fantastic additions to the general scenery, but one is always torn around fellows who look as good out of their clothing as they do within it. The clothing, too, is often torn. Regular exposure to both plays positive havoc with the finer feelings of any truly refined gentleman of taste, so in the end my feelings are profoundly mixed.

What hair conditioners would you recommend? 

The best smelling ones, of course. You can’t be too careful with scent, especially when werewolves abound.

How much hat is too much for a man? 

Consider the three c’s of hat acquisition: A gentleman’s hat should be in direct proportion to his confidence, indirect proportion to his consequence, and coordinate with his outfit, his hair, and his eyes.

You know what they say about a man in a very large hat?

Very large…


What do you think is business casual attire? 

I am flummoxed by the word “business.” To imply that I, a gentleman of leisure, conduct any form of business is a grave insult. And I prefer not to think upon those poor unfortunates who must undertake *shudder* actual work.

Just how old is your cat?

One never asks a lady, a vampire, or a cat her age! Have I taught you nothing?

Could you tell us more about your past?

Certainly not, but my creator might. She’s a nosey bit of baggage, that Gail female.


Well, I think we shall stop things there, shall we Gentle Reader?

Yours in nosiness,

Miss Gail

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Posted by Gail Carriger

One Response

  1. Becky said:

    Into the breeches!!! bwahahahaha!!! Plus, the posh dancing bit is hysterical! Thanks, Dear Gail!

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