Guess who is back on the blog today, Gentle Reader?
Why yes indeed, it’s him! And he’s in a quick fire mood. So it’s going to be SNAPPY.
Welcome Lord Akeldama… take it away!
8 VERY INTRUSIVE QUESTIONS
1. Can you tell me your secret for keeping so peppy?
Expect the worst of the world, then when anything bad happens you’re self satisfied and when anything good happens, you’re pleasantly surprised.
2. Have you ever turned any of your drones?
Darling, I’m not quite that much of a queen.
3. How did you get from Egypt to England after your metamorphosis?
Very very carefully.
4. Can you enlighten me as to the identity of ‘Wicker Chicken’?
I could, but then she’d have to kill you and I just had the carpets cleaned.
5. Who does your hair after Biffy’s departure?
Why? Are you applying for the position?
6. BUR records show that you are referred to as Subject V-322-XA. Does this in anyway indicate your first name starting with an ‘X’ or is the ‘x simply a stand in because of your reluctance to share?
Ah yes, I had a lover once who called me by the shortened version of my name. I was rather fond of him. He worked for BUR.
7. How do you find best to catch a gentleman’s attention in an amorous manner?
I’m a great fan of witty banter, but the direct approach, while not one I employ too often myself, can be most efficacious with prospective lovers. A simple statement of inquiry, couched in a flattering manner, I find works best.
Always provide the gentleman an excuse to decline, of course. One should never be rude to (or with) ones food.
8. How do you really feel about Biffy and Lyall?
And he’s gone!
Thank you all for paying him such close attention, he loves it, even if he doesn’t say so.
Extra nugget! Archaeologists Unearth 2,200-Year-Old Mosaics In An Ancient Greek City
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Yours in delicate balance,
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~ The Reluctant Berserker by Alex Beecroft