Tagged vampire

Dear Lord Akeldama ~ Gifts, Endearments & Peas

Posted by Gail Carriger

Please welcome the gentleman vampire back to my blog this week, Gentle Reader!

As always Lord Akeldama may not give you the answer you wish, he always gives the question the answer it deserves. (If you have asked the Good Vampire a question over the past few months and do not see the answer, it is always possible he has answered it before or it’s still in the hopper.)

With Biffy & Lyall’s book on the horizon, I may invite the werewolves over for a round, perhaps you have questions for them?

Rudderbuddy asks:

Where did you get you love for food and floral related nicknames?

You can think of a better source of endearments?

Melissa asks:

When visiting the home of a new acquaintance for the first time, what is the most appropriate gift, or is a gift necessary?

I’m always in favor of something small and edible ~ chocolates, bubbly, svelte young men with sparkling eyes and questionable moral fiber.

Jessica asks:

What is the best possible way to go about mixing patterns in fashion choices?

Keep your colors close and your sizes separate. In other words, mix a large pattern with a small one, but make sure they are both black & white.

Mandy asks:

What fashions would you put a butterfly of a toddler in, considering that she likes to run and climb…

Waistcoat and trousers, naturally, darling. Or perhaps a very small lab coat emblazoned with “evil genius in training,” just to keep everyone around watchful.

Court suit Uncut voided silk velvet, silk faille, silk embroidery floss, gold & silver embroidery purl & frieze, rhinestone & metal sequins c. 1810-14

Sharon asks:

I’m considering becoming a vampire queen. Suggestions? Hints?

Endeavor to be as fabulous as possible.

Tracy asks:

If one has an extensive library, do you recommend shelving them by height, color, or some other system?

Color, setting, and approval rating.

Avery asks:

If one must color one’s hair and belonging to the male gender with pale olive skin would you advise, ginger or blonde or black?

Black, my darling little eliá.

Irene asks:

If one is setting up a network of secret agents, what is the best type of training for them: espionage, assassination, accountancy, or a combination?

Never forget table manners, wardrobe selection, and hat decoration. Oh and the consumption of peas. Peas always give trouble to those who have not been trained properly.

Do you want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? 

Join the Chirrup and drop him a line.

Already a member? Just reply to the next Chirrup with your question.

{Coop de Book: Gail’s monthly read along for October is Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede.}


Amazon | Kobo | B&N | iBooks

Romancing the Werewolf ~ A Supernatural Society Novella by Gail Carriger will be available in digital form on Nov 5th (print & audio to follow).

Gay reunion romance featuring your favorite reluctant werewolf dandy, the return of a certain quietly efficient Beta, and some unexpected holiday gifts.


  • Meat Cute ~ A Parasolverse Short
    Status: Rough draft complete. Layaway.
    Possible anchor short story for Secret Project A or SS collected/omnibus in 2018 or 2019.
  • TOC ~ San Andreas Shifters #2
    Status: Writing Rough draft.
    There’s a bartender with a mysterious ability and a big scruffy werewolf with a powerful crush. Gail is contemplating shifter food trucks ~ Do it raw! Sometimes we wiggle, sometimes the food does.


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

1905 (Source- pinterest.com) via fawnvelveteen tumblr

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Why octopuses are building small “cities” off the coast of Australia

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

10+ Times Writers Took Book Dedications To Another Level

Book News:

By Rebecca Nandi

Quote of the Day:

“I have only two things to say to you, Lord Tilbury. One is that you have ruined a man’s life. The other is Pip-pip.”

~ P.G. Wodehouse

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? There’s a wiki for that!

Dear Lord Akeldama ~ On Fashion, Feminism, & Faux

Posted by Gail Carriger

Please welcome the gentleman vampire back to my blog this week, Gentle Reader. As always Lord Akeldama is happy to entertain your questions, although he may not give you the answer you wish, he always gives your question the answer it deserves.

via celuloid-jam tumblr

And now…

Dear Lord Akeldama

Lisa asks:

Since you are a master of subtle manipulation, how would you get a teenage boy to clean up after himself without seeming to nag?

Keep him company in his own room until it is clean. Set up residence with a book. Nothing is more off-putting to a young gentleman than lack of privacy and constant exposure to his own parent. Other option? Offer to clean it yourself… and Instagram the most embarrassing things you find.

Christopher asks:

What do you think of Hawaiian shirts for very casual daywear?

I try not to think about them at all.

Alicia asks:

How do you politely tell someone to stuff it?

I find turning my head away, finding that something vastly interesting has caught my attention elsewhere, and simply drifting off works wonders.

Pamela asks:

What to do when one’s physical limitations demand practical shoes?

Do not go anywhere.

Mara asks:

What is a lady of reputable breeding and with a tendency to go against the social norm to do to when faced with stupid and boring ladies who think a woman’s sense in life are clothes, marriage, and children.


Jack asks:

Flossing or just brushing?

What a silly question to ask a man who has a liquid diet.

Court Suit, ca 1810

Fiona asks:

How do you feel about the Faux trend: i.e. Faux fur, Faux Leather, T-shirts with tuxedos printed on them, leggings printed to look like jeans.

Is fashion not, at its heart and soul, entirely motivated by deception and manipulation? Trompe-l’œil away, my sneaky darlings, visual espionage is an ancient tradition. The Romans did it with walls.

Cherries asks:

Honorable sir, what should one do when a present has been given, but no thanks has been offered in the form of a card or note or even…gasp…an email?

Assume that the present was either undelivered, unacceptable, insulting, or unwelcome. Whatever the case, do not bestow another.


Liza asks:

Lord Akeldama, pray tell, what is your favorite book?

I am rather partial to Mr. Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Gray. There are some who have speculated that it is about me. I assure you there is no painting in my garret. Although there is this fresco in a stairwell in the British Museum… Of course, The Vampyre is a work of pure comic genius, always good of a laugh.

Like Lord Akeldama? Look out for Manifest Destiny in my next book, Kitsune Drag Queen extraordinaire.

{Gail’s monthly read along for May is Radiance by Grace Draven.}


  • Poison or Protect Audiobook.
    StatusOut now!
    Can one gentle Highland soldier woo Victorian London’s most scandalous lady assassin, or will they both be destroyed in the attempt?


The Sumage Solution: San Andreas Shifters #1 by G. L. Carriger
Contemporary m/m paranormal romance featuring a snarky mage and a gruff werewolf. Hella raunchy. Super dirty. Very very fun. Spin off of Marine Biology.

Can a gentle werewolf heal the heart of a smart-mouthed mage?


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

1900 Longchamp, France Antique-Royals tumblr2

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

40 Unique Teapots to Help You Savour the Taste of Tea

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Keeping Time in the Victorian Kitchen

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

“Writers don’t forget the past; they turn it into raw material.”

~ Joyce Rachelle

Book News:

Quote of the Day:

“It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.”

~ P.G. Wodehouse

Questions about Gail’s steampunk world? There’s a wiki for that!
Share & Enjoy!

Dear Lord Akeldama ~ On Fashion, Drones & Meat Chops

Posted by Gail Carriger


Before we start, Gentle Reader, and thinking of fashion, this is a reminder that I have an Instagram feed. So if you are there, so am I!

And now, please welcome the gentleman vampire back to my blog this week.

As always Lord Akeldama is happy to entertain your questions. And while he may not give you the answer you wish, he always gives the question the answer it deserves. Please feel free to leave more in the comments below for a future column.

And now…

Dear Lord Akeldama

Aubrey (@LIWpride) asks:

Do I wear makeup for a job interview/presentation or no?

Makeup is only warpaint by another name, my blushing pearl.

Michael asks:

Which members of the Royal Family have benefited from your fashion advice over the centuries?

None of them, my ducky darling. Have you seen the way those poor unfortunates dress? Some, I believe, have been listening too closely to Baroness Tunstell. It is sorry state of affairs. I did, however, have a lovely correspondence with Mrs Kennedy once. Pity about her husband, if only the local hive had been a little faster.

Waistcoat 1790s The Museum of Fine Arts, Boston

Gina asks:

I wonder what you think of Trump.

What’s that? A new cut of meat? The butchers are getting rather daring these days. I should ask my cook what he thinks, I’m convinced his opinion is more valuable on the Trump chop, or what have you, than mine could ever be.

Ember asks:

What is your favorite knot to use for tying a cravat?

The mathematical, in my case, I enjoy the sense of irony.

pimpernelfans tumblr Some of Percy’s best faces (as played by Anthony Andrews)

Nicole (@chrisiant) asks:

Scent, discreetly applied. Is it a delightful accent, or intolerable intrusion? Also..long skirts plus wheeled chair – help!

For scent, less is always more. Unless, of course you cherish an intense interest in werewolves, in which case you should leave it off entirely. Werewolves have a propensity to sneeze when in the company of perfume. My creator’s preference is for a nice body scrub or skin cream, rather than a heavy dousing of scent. And she hopes it goes without saying: NEVER when engaged in aeronautic pursuits.

New Woman Sarah Grand’s Bicycle Suit (1897)

Long skirts and wheelchair? This is much like long skirts and the bicycle, my flowy lotus blossom, a legitimate excuse for dress reform! And while my daughter and I disagree on the particulars of underpinnings, I am able to move with the times enough to admire certain aspects of a New Woman’s mobile glory.

Kim (@KimEnglish66)

White shoes in winter, yes or no?

Whatever best suits the outfit, of course.

Josh asks:

 What do you look for in a drone?

A natty dresser, a certain breeziness of morality, a zest for life and information in equal measure, and of course, beauty. As I am sure you well know, my lovely, beauty is less in the eye of the beholder than it is in the mouth of the vampire.

Her First Dance (1884), William Quiller Orchardson

{Gail’s Coop de Book pick for March 2017 is Crown Duel by Sherwood Smith.}


Romancing the Inventor

Romancing the Inventor: A Supernatural Society Novella

A steampunk lesbian romance featuring a maid bent on seducing a brilliant cross-dressing scientist who’s too brokenhearted to notice. Or is she?


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Allen & Ginter (American, Richmond, Virginia)
Reserve, from the Parasol Drills series (N18) for Allen & Ginter Cigarettes Brands, 1888

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Book News:

FS C&C Foreign Editions

Quote of the Day:

“You can’t live without me. I’m like cheese.” It took a second to process his comment.
“I’m sorry, cheese?”
“Sure. Air’s overrated. Try living without cheese.”

~ Change of Heart by Mary Calmes

Questions about Gail’s steampunk world? There’s a wiki for that!
Share & Enjoy!

Dear Lord Akeldama ~ Fabric Choices & Champagne

Posted by Gail Carriger


My darlingest of darlings, it has been too long, but guess who is dropping by my blog today? Yes, you know it’s true …

That sparkliest of sparkly vampires!
That sharpest tooth in a gum of afterlife!
The maddest baddest wielder of italics!

Lord Akeldama!


Confused Foptopus asks:
Kind of a serious question, but it vexes me so: why is love, affection, compassion etc so taboo/distasteful/not ‘done’ among the supernatural? Wouldn’t being around forever give one more cause for appreciating such things, rather than less?
But darling pumpkin cuddle, such things make the afterlife so terribly terribly messy. You know, we vampires abhor a mess. Leave such things to the werewolves, that’s what I always say.

ValerieP asks:
As one who enjoys immortality in the highest of social stations, I assume you have a wealth of generations of idioms to select from. In reference to your usage of the word, “La,” what term would be comparable in the twentieth (or 21st) century?
Gracious me, prickly puff, I hardly dare contemplate the matter. La, but what a question! Perhaps, as the modern parlance might have it, the subjective exclamatory use of the word “dude”? But goodness gracious me, can you imagine a vampire utilizing the word “dude”? Oh no, I’m giving Miss Carriger ideas.

1770-1790  The Museum of Fine Arts, Boston

Melody Powers asks:
Are there any particular fabrics or colours you would recommend for a poor young lady with the unfortunate habit of sweating a lot? Ones that don’t show the sweat marks. Or possibly any great insights you can share on how to reduce said sweating?
What a positively tragedical predicament, my shimmering grapelit. First, let us be clear, young ladies do not sweat, they glow. Second, why not join us and adopt supernatural hours while living in jolly old London-town? Avoid the the sun altogether, who needs it?

Lady DarcyDevotee asks:
You have many gallant and dapper young MALE drones but I’m curious: Do you have any FEMALE drones? If so, where do I submit my application?
Miss Carriger reliably informs me that I am Not To Answer this question. Miss Carriger is one of the few females whose advice I must heed, and that’s only because she controls my entire existence with the iron pen. I am loathe to admit such a thing but she could even, if she wished, write me into second death or have me lose all my beloved italics. Tis the greatest sadness of my existence, that I am behooven to an American Hussy of Questionable Moral Fiber and Lackluster Literary Skill.

1853 Punch Sept

Scapebabe asks:
Despite the fact that it does not truly provide you any sustenance, are there any foods that you enjoy, either because of the flavor, texture, or visual aesthetic appeal? And if so, what are they? I require new additions to my recipe box.
Champagne darling, bit of bubble, tot of the old fizzy. And, for that matter anything made with champagne. How about Pink Champagne Cake? And, of course, anything with fresh blood, there is a lovely cooking book entitled Bite Me circling the back alleys at the moment  but I suspect you aren’t quite of that inclination, yet…

Have a question for Lord Akeldama? 
He may have answered it already or you may leave it in a comment below. Please do not ask time sensitive questions, Lord Akeldama, being a vampire, as a very loose interpretation of time.


Your Moment of Parasol and Your Infusion of Cute . . .





Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  
Over at Korval.com they are giving away 5 free Audible copies of Trade Secret. I am a big fan of the Liaden Universe and i fyou like Space Opera they are great and this is a great way to dive in. You have to leave a comment and the giveaway ends Friday at midnight (Maine time).


Curtsies & Conspiracies
~ The Finishing School Book the Second. Out now!  
Soulless Vol. 3 (AKA Blameless the manga) ~ Out now! 

Waistcoats & Weaponry ~ The Finishing School Book the Third. Release date to come.
Manners & Mutiny ~ The Finishing School Book the Last. Working rough draft.
Prudence ~ The Parasol Protectorate Abroad Book the First: Delayed. Why? Rewrite begins in 2014.


The Books! 

The Finishing School Series: 1 Etiquette & Espionage, 2 Curtsies & Conspiracies


The Parasol Protectorate Series: 1 Soulless, 2 Changeless, 3 Blameless, 4 Heartless, 5 Timeless
Parasol Protectorate Series manga graphic novels
 $0.99 short stories (ebook only) Marine Biology, My Sister’s Song, & Fairy Debt

Book News:
The first three Parasol Protectorate audio books should now be available in UK via audible or other digital download mediums.

Quote of the Day:

Dear Lord Akeldama ~ Beign a Vampire in the Digital Age

Posted by Gail Carriger


More from everyone’s favorite vampire advisor.

nm_samantha asks:
What advice would you give to a newly created vampire?
Speak only when spoken to, introduce yourself properly before lunching, and consult your queen before leaving the house.

Diego Bruner asks:
How has the digital age changed your information gathering “hobby.”
Ah, my little pixel, you never heard this from me, but it has had a greater effect on my dissemination of information. It is amazing what people will believe, especially with this new fangled wikipedia thingamabob. I can completely rewrite history to my own preferences. I mean, real my darlings, how else would you explain such a proliferation of fashion blogs?

Lady Star asks,
Do you like how the manga artist has given you form?
Oh don’t I look so delightfully young? I am, as is the custom with most of us who have seen a few years pass by, rather more than delighted and flattered by any rendition that depicts me as lesser in years.

Lady Star asks:
I wouldn’t be so bold as to ask the year, but when is the birthday of my favorite vampire?
My starling of the evening skies, I’m terrible sorry to say, I can no longer remember.

Dear Lord Akeldama, I was wondering what your feelings were on drone hopefuls who prefer to “tread the boards” as they say? I was recently cast as Le Beau in Shakespeare’s comedy As You Like It and much of my character work I have based off of your personality and fabulous image (I even get a folding fan which I get to snap open vigorously). I know it’s terribly “wolfish” of me, but I had hoped to gain your approval. Yours (If you want me), Beau
Ah, darling Beau! (What a perfectly splendid name, by the way, I am quite compelled to call you by it, as anything I might create should be inferior. I should dearly love to see such a production! I to tend to build my little collection from young men of consequence, it suits my various hobbies, but I have been know to branch out. Actors, as you might well know, can ply their skills in many ways off the stage as well as on, and as such I can only say, perhaps I have indeed poached form the werewolf domain upon occasion . . . perhaps next time your are in town, you could send round a playbill?

hanna asks:
I have two questions. Firstly, I know that you’ve lived for several centuries, and I´m wondering what era is your favourite? Secondly, I’m guessing that you have met Ivy Hisselpenny several times. Which of her hats would you consider the ugliest?
I’m particularly partial to any era where in men are required to wear vert tight breeches, and lace, oh, and sparkles. I do love a man who sparkles. As for Miss Hisselpenny’s hats . . . words fail me. (And believe me, my sugared violet, I don’t say that lightly.)


Your Tisane of Smart . . .
Marriage and children out of wedlock in the Victorian era.

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .
“What’s scarier than Halloween? Writers signing publishing contracts not fully understanding what they are signing.” ~ My Agent

Timeless: Now in production. The release date on Amazon is correct.

Etiquette & Espionage: Working fourth pass edits. Release date Fall 2012.

The Parasol Protectorate Abroad Book the First: Prudence floats! Release date sometime 2013.

BIG FAT SPOILER ALERT! Really, DON’T READ THE BLURB ON AMAZON if you haven’t read the other books first!

Book News:
More FAN ART! (Yes I know, terribly realistic, but still fan art.

Quote of the Day:
“…is it just me, or does a “James Beard Award” sound like something a woman would win for dating closeted gay men? If that’s the case, then Renee Zellweger is in the James Beard Hall of Friggin Fame.”
~ David Dust

Dear Lord Akeldama ~ Dracula & Dorian Gray

Posted by Gail Carriger


What is your opinion of Dracula?

It seems to me, my dumpling, he was rather misunderstood. I am afraid his biography might have had a hint of conservative propaganda about it.

Two nun asks:
Is Dorian Gray a supernatural? And if so, where is he?
Dear me, I do believe you are asking the wrong Dandy. I suggest you best query Mr. Wilde for that information.

Gonçalo Mil-Homens asks:
Do you know any Vampy Eire?
Have you made the acquaintance of Miss Thursday Next? I recommend directing you question at her a charming young lady, and so very diverting. Or have I the wrong Eyre?

Carlos asks:
How do you look at this new wave of “I want to be human” vampires?
I find it disturbingly regressive, somewhat akin a human suddenly wanting to be a fetus. At some point we must all admit to our toothy selves that such desires are childish. Also, one shouldn’t play with one’s food. One shouldn’t even play as one’s food. Oh, I’m so diverting.

Catarina asks:
Do you read vampire fiction? Did you like any of the vampires described there?
Of course I do, my poppet, I adore High Fantasy. I must say I find a certain young Eddy perfectly scrumptious. A bit brooding at times, and strangely fascinated with schoolgirls, but we all have our youthful indiscretions.

Audra asks:
Plaid — is it ever okay? (What if it’s taffeta or silk?)
Plaid, ever under contention, must be handled with extreme care and attention to detail. There are not many fashions I claim are better left to the ladies, but plaid, I feel, may be one of them. Far to many actors have a propensity for plaid, and those (dare I say it?) gentlemen simply takes such things too far. Poor Mr. Tunstell, I fear, has quite gone over to plaid.

More from Lord Akeldama in a few weeks. Keep the questions coming, if you would be so kind, for eventually I will run out.

Gail’s Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:
More on the Little White Dress that is all over the runways (and how not to do it). I got inspired, hit up a thrift store and found this:

In lace, which is another big trend for spring, but a little long (I’m not of the tall and willow variety) and needed some repairs so I fixed it up, shortened it and added sleeves.

I’ll probably pair it with a black or brown belt and dark tights as seen on the runways. I also found the cutest tiny little belt to wear all wrapped around my wrist like a cuff! Such fun.
Your Tisane of Smart:
Squid stories: Love me, love my tentacles
Your Writerly Tinctures:
Sometimes I’m a little scared by the similarities between self and this other author. Admittedly she is blond and a lot tinier than I am but we share a retro fashion sense and . . . have almost exactly the same handwriting. Freaky.

Timeless: Clomp, clomp, comp. So close, so close!
Secret Project F: We’re waiting. We’re waiting.

BIG FAT SPOILER ALERT! Really, DON’T READ THE BLURB ON AMAZON if you haven’t read the other books first!

Blameless is now available from Audible. Changeless still isn’t. What can I say? Publishing moves in mysterious ways, it’s wonders to . . . annoy. Or something.

Quote of the Day:
“In a good play, everyone is in the right.”
~ Fredrich Hebbel

In Which Gail Worries Over Age Gaps in Vampire Relationships (Occasional FAQ)

Posted by Gail Carriger


I recently read this fantastic article on why vampires would have a population problem. Believe it or not, this has always concerned me. I solve any similar crisis in my Victorian London by making it very difficult for vampires to create other vampires. It’s a matter of excess soul, you understand. How to measure soul and predict bite survival rates becomes a driving force behind scientific investigations, resulting in the development of (and money behind) steampunk inventions.

But, I must say that I find the vampire age gap even more worrying. Let me put it this way, how creepy is the idea of a 60 year old marrying and 14 year old girl? Well then why is it suddenly not creepy for a high school emo-girl to date an 1078 year old man? I don’t know about you, Gentle Reader, but I get a bit wrinkle-nosed at the thought. My hero is 200 or so years older than my heroine and I decided it was allowable only because her prospects were very poor indeed, being quite the spinster and very much on the shelf. But still, one wonders. Does maturity stop at the moment of immortality making a relationship of such proportions allowable? How old is too old? Troubling thoughts indeed.

Gail’s Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:

  • Fashion Trends Winter/Fall 09
  • Monochromatic neutral pallets
  • Leg-of-mutton and tulip sleeves
  • Early 90s inspired hem-lines and prints

In short, disappointing.
Your Tisane of Smart:
This is very exciting. Now I can cook with Tea Oil!

Your Writerly Tinctures:
Dear Author tracks good ebook offers and deals

CAKE in Space: Red penning draft 1.
Soulless: ARCs have arrived, but must be kept at home until after the BEAs.
Changeless: Gone poof. Starting to gather corrections.
Steampunk short: Done

Quote of the Day:
Writing is a fairly lonely business unless you invite people in to watch you do it, which is often distracting and then have to ask them to leave.
~ Marc Lawrence
(Thinking of Ken & Jay’s recent Borderlands write-off.) Why is it collaborations always seem to have nice tongue-in-cheek humor?

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