Tagged Lord Akeldama

Dear Lord Akeldama: On Suede and Other Fashion Troubles

He is back again, Gentle Reader!

Please welcome the Good Vampire to the bog today to answer all your most pressing questions.

Dear Lord Akeldama…

Is suede only for fall? 

Suede is like this fantastic young lover I once had, silken and glorious, lush and expensive, and terribly terribly high maintenance. I’m afraid to say, eventually, not good at any time of year.

Just got a top hat. The silk kind not beaver. Any practical dos and don’ts? Or just wear it as much as possible with anything? 

Silk top hats are for evening attire only. Hence the reason vampires are so in favor, we are after all, only out and about in the evening. In fact, my little beaver kit, there is much discussion over whether the top hat is nocturnal because of the vampire, or if the vampire is nocturnal because of the top hat.

An eternal question, I suspect.

Where did you meet Biffy?

Wherever he says we met, darling! After a man becomes immortal he is in charge of his own history.

Let’s be honest: you go over and tie all the werewolves’ cravats in the evening, don’t you?

Don’t be silly, my sweet Shibari, I send one of my drones to do it. Standards must be maintained!

Will dear ‘Dama’ promise to never change?

What benefit could there possibly be in any alteration? If the suit fits…

How do you keep your heels from hurting in stylish shoes?

All beauty is pain, my sweetling, anyone who sells you comfortable is unstylish.

Oh dear, that’s not exactly how the quote goes, is it?

It’s more of a wish for places where hourglasses might find suitable ready-to-wear clothes at a reasonable expense for the demands of modern life. Also, world peace and whatnot.

Honestly, precious, what would I know about such things? But my creator swears by eShakti custom dresses. You can read her guidelines for shopping with them on Retro Rack. 

Would you consider giving Ms. Carriger more of your time to appear more frequently in her blogs and columns for us lowly Midwest creatures.

No. Frequency is the enemy of anticipation. And if nothing else, I like to be anticipated. Even yearned for. If I visited too often, you would cease being so delighted to see me.

By Rebecca Nandi

What is the correct knot to use on one’s cravat when having tea with the Queen?

A mathematical. It shows a certain serious frame of mind and denotes humble gravitas.

What would be a tasteful wedding gift for two Werewolves in love?

Something durable yet pretty that they would never buy for themselves, a garden statue perhaps, or a cut glass serving dish for chopped liver with two gold spoons.

What is your opinion on jeans?

Confusion.

Sir, I understand that your personal network keeps you well informed as to all things, but in the matter of technology, how do you determine which is the most promising and which is rubbish? All of it appears new and fresh so what determines your choices?

I ask myself one simple question, gumdrop, can it be use to gather information on me or on others? Always go with the second option.

What is your favourite term of endearment?

Whatever one has most recently spilled forth from my lips, of course my little sugar plumb.

And on that note,

Your plumbiest of Gails,

Signing off.

  • Did you want to ask Lord A a question? Just reply to your most recent Chirrup. Sign up here. 
  • Not into newsletters? Get only new releases by following Gail on Amazon or BookBub

OUT NEXT!

The 5th Gender (A Tinkered Stars Mystery as G. L. Carriger).

Preorder on Amazon | Elsewhere | Direct from Gail
Audio is coming. 

Sci-fi queer romance meets cozy mystery in which a hot space station cop meets the most adorable purple alien ever (lavender, pulease!) from a race with 5 genders.

We have our first review and it is GLORIOUS! (Thank you Joli Abbott at Den of Geek)

“By showing that freedom that humanity has embraced (though humans certainly still have hang-ups about sex, according to other species), and contrasting it with the rigidity of galoi society, Carriger reminds readers of how far modern humanity has to go in accepting a normal beyond cis-heterosexual. But, even for the galoi, she offers a hair of hope at the end, and a reminder that the power to change and become lies in the stories we tell each other. Even stories about adorable lavender aliens and their human crushes.”

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

  • Reticence, The 4th and final Custard Protocol book. Aug 6, 2019
  • Fan Service Omnibus, Oct 2019 to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Soulless. SOLD OUT
  • Need to know what Gail is writing right now? That’s in the Chirrup.

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

The Queen Date July, 1873

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

These Victorian women had some great answers to the magazine that asked why they weren’t married

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.”

~ Stephen King

Book News:

“You don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great.”

~ Les Brown

Quote of the Day:

“Well, if you insist. But, my dearest flower, how ghastly to consider that such a mustache must shadow the clean-shaven grandeur of my domicile.’ Lord Akeldama was rumored to insist that all his drones go without the dreaded lip skirt. The vampire had once had the vapors upon encountering an unexpected mustache around a corner of his hallway. Muttonchops were permitted in moderation, and only because they were currently all the rage among the most fashionable of London’s gentlemen-about-town. Even so, they must be as well tended as the topiary of Hampton Court.”

~ Lord A in top form

Your Moment of Gail

 

“I suspect it may be like the difference between a drinker and an alcoholic; the one merely reads books, the other needs books to make it through the day.”

(Interview with The Booklovers blog, September 2010)” ~ Gail Carriger

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!


Dear Lord Akeldama: On Modern Identities & Future Appearances

Posted by Gail Carriger

The Good Vampire is back and snarkier than ever!

Please welcome him to the blog.

Dear Lord Akeldama…

Are you masquerading as Tom Hiddleston to throw 21st century folks off track? 

Anything is possible, my little crimson cherry drop.

Can I borrow your clothes?

No, but you can borrow my drones to take you shopping.

I have a brick fireplace with a wooden mantel. I am redecorating. What would make the fireplace look the best, painting more vibrant colors or stripping the paint to the original brick? 

This entirely depends on the rest of the house. If, in general you have painted everything light colors, then exposed brick can become a kind of accent. But if you have done dark, then I would paint it a lighter color.

If something is troubling you, treat it like a choice not a mistake. Works in writing. Works in life. Works in interior design.

Where do you get such wonderful tailoring? 

From my wonderful tailor, of course, don’t be silly darling.

Can I borrow Biffy as a lady’s maid? 

Biffy is otherwise engaged for the foreseeable future. And I do mean future.

Tiaras, too much for day wear? 

Diamonds are for evening but during the daytime perhaps pearls are acceptable. It would need to be a rather diminutive tiara, although there are always exceptions. Here are three tiara related questions to ask yourself…

  • Are you appearing at court? Yes.
  • Are you going courting? Maybe.
  • Are you appearing IN court? No.

What happens if immortals cut their hair? 

There’s no need to be rude!

Fashion suggestions for the fluffy graying gentleman?

You sound like a werewolf, hopeless case. Find yourself a project-orientated female or a Biffy, or both. Let them handle you for you.

 

Will we ever get a stand-alone? Need more of you, my sweetness. 

Honestly, to have that busy-body Miss Gail nosing about in my business on the regular? I think NOT.

Best place to find drones?

The West End, your local amateur dramatic society, the garment district, and LA… in that order.

What knot is the best cravat knot for a woman to wear?

The waterfall, it transitions over any unfortunate bumps with aplomb.

Why no female drones dahlink?? *stamps foot*

Temper. Temper.

Shows what you know.

Define female.

When will we read you again?

What, this isn’t good enough?

Well then, darlings: August 2019…

And I think the good vampire has given you enough hints to be going on with.

Yours, in evilness,

Miss Gail

  • Did you want to ask Lord A a question? Just reply to your most recent Chirrup. Sign up here. 
  • Not into newsletters? Get only new releases by following Gail on Amazon or BookBub

OUT MAY 18, 2019!

The 5th Gender (A Tinkered Stars Mystery as G. L. Carriger).

Preorder on Amazon | Elsewhere | Direct from Gail
Print and audio are coming, but will not be available for preorder. 

Sci-fi queer romance meets cozy mystery in which a hot space station cop meets the most adorable purple alien ever (lavender, pulease!) from a race with 5 genders.

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

  • Reticence, The 4th and final Custard Protocol book. August 6, 2019
  • Fan Service Omnibus, October 2019 to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Soulless.
  • Need to know what Gail is writing right now? That’s in the Chirrup.

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Helene Standish, 1882 via shewhoworshipscarlin tumblr

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Walking Stick Violin

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

“Let the world burn through you. Throw the prism light, white hot, on paper.”

~ Ray Bradbury

Book News:

Quote of the Day:

Your Moment of Gail

 

“I suspect it may be like the difference between a drinker and an alcoholic; the one merely reads books, the other needs books to make it through the day.”

(Interview with The Booklovers blog, September 2010)” ~ Gail Carriger

 

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!


Dear Lord Akeldama: On Beginnings, Cats & Hats

Posted by Gail Carriger

Once more into the breaches dear friends!

Lord Akeldama is back to dispense wit, wisdom, and insults in equal measure. He’s being very brief and short with you today, Gentle Reader.

Dear Lord Akeldama…

What was the Queen like at the time of your transformation?

Which queen? Me, mine or someone else’s?

How did it all begin?

It was messy. Beginnings always are, sadly. Any writer will tell you that.

Chartreuse, yes or no?

Stop.

What is the proper protocol when instructing young people about the dangers of despotic dictators?

Become one yourself for a day, see how they like it.

Jabot 1900 The Metropolitan Museum of Art

In the fantastic modern world of ours what would you do?

Take over all parade management. It’s just not good enough. Measures must be taken!

Assuming you were as savvy with electronic technology what would you use the internet for first? 

Bring back breeches, world domination, and drone recruitment… in that order.

How do you feel about losing your werewolf neighbors?

They were fantastic additions to the general scenery, but one is always torn around fellows who look as good out of their clothing as they do within it. The clothing, too, is often torn. Regular exposure to both plays positive havoc with the finer feelings of any truly refined gentleman of taste, so in the end my feelings are profoundly mixed.

What hair conditioners would you recommend? 

The best smelling ones, of course. You can’t be too careful with scent, especially when werewolves abound.

 

How much hat is too much for a man? 

Consider the three c’s of hat acquisition: A gentleman’s hat should be in direct proportion to his confidence, indirect proportion to his consequence, and coordinate with his outfit, his hair, and his eyes.

You know what they say about a man in a very large hat?

Very large…

Head.

What do you think is business casual attire? 

I am flummoxed by the word “business.” To imply that I, a gentleman of leisure, conduct any form of business is a grave insult. And I prefer not to think upon those poor unfortunates who must undertake *shudder* actual work.

Just how old is your cat?

One never asks a lady, a vampire, or a cat her age! Have I taught you nothing?

Could you tell us more about your past?

Certainly not, but my creator might. She’s a nosey bit of baggage, that Gail female.

Well, I think we shall stop things there, shall we Gentle Reader?

Yours in nosiness,

Miss Gail

  • Did you want to ask Lord A a question? Just reply to your most recent Chirrup. Sign up here. 
  • Not into newsletters? Get only new releases by following Gail on Amazon or BookBub!

OUT NOW!

The Omega Objection San Andreas Shifters

Amazon | Kobo | B&N | iBooks
Direct from Gail

Can a gentle giant with a trampled heart
show a man who’s been running all his life that
sometimes there are monsters worth running towards?

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

  • The 5th Gender (a Tinkered Stars sci-fi as G. L. Carriger). May 18, 2019
  • Reticence, The 4th and final Custard Protocol book. August 6, 2019
  • Secret Project Ommm, October 31, 2019 to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Soulless.
  • Need to know what Gail is writing right now? That’s in the Chirrup.

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Vampire Myths from Around the World, and What They Have in Common

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Upon My Death: What Happens To An Author’s Unfinished Work?

Book News:

Fan Art Merlioness from Competence (unsigned) gifted to me in Seattle 2019

Quote of the Day:

Your Moment of Gail

 

“I suspect it may be like the difference between a drinker and an alcoholic; the one merely reads books, the other needs books to make it through the day.”

(Interview with The Booklovers blog, September 2010)” ~ Gail Carriger

 

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!


Dear Lord Akeldama: On Raising A Child & Cleaning One’s Fangs

Posted by Gail Carriger

He’s back!

Please welcome the Good Vampire of all our dreams back to the blog today, Gentle Reader.

Take it away, Lord Akeldama…

Dear Lord Akeldama…

Have you ever visited the far east?

East of where? And how far?

What is your favorite assassination technique? What do you find truly exceptional or intriguing about it?

I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

Would you be mad or delighted if if wrote a fanfiction with you in it?

One’s emotional reaction, I suspect, would be entirely based on the quality of any such endeavor. Isn’t it always?

What are the best (elegant) footwear options for young ladies of short stature who eschew heels?

Pointed or almond toed flats (unless you have very big feet), they extend the leg in an appealing manner. Avoid the square toe. Everyone should avoid the square toe, it is one of life’s true abominations, my little muffin.

How should one accessorize with a wheelchair? 

Gilt! Lots and lots of gilt, possibly some sparkles. By flashy, that’s what I always say. Don’t I? Well if I don’t I should say it.

How did you manage Prudence in your life before she could understand life in your house and hers?

Children are remarkably adaptable. If you inform them that this is the way life is, then they are most likely to accept it. It’s the adults you have to worry about, full of very strange notions.

What do you think about hipsters?

It entirely depends on the general approach. Far be it for me to object to well tended retro stylings. But anything unkempt, for example a beard or a (shudder) man bun, should be deemed nothing but unsightly in the eyes of any vampire. And, in my case, dismissed forthwith from my presence.

How are you so fabulous?

I’ll have you know that it takes a great deal of very hard work to appear to spend one’s time doing nothing at all, fiberty nibbits.

Dress Coat 1825-1830 The Mint Museum

What next? And when do we get the “Drones” manual?

Are you volunteering to write it? My secretary will be in touch, darling scribbler.

Akeldama is an unusual name. It is Egyptian? But are you originally from Egypt? Am I confused?

You are bemused, my poppet. I was metamorphosed in Egypt and I am very fond of it, but I wasn’t born there. The name is more of a title that I have grown quite quite fond of over the years.

You’ve seen it all, what good things in life keep you going?

The secret is to enjoy the small things one is gifted with each day ~ the prefect beverage, a kind compliment, a delicious snack, and let the large things roll over you.

Have you ever encountered a relationship poly in nature, a polyamorous relationship so to speak? If so would you be so kind as to share your thoughts on such relations?

Considering I myself live with a gaggle of young men, I am obviously in favor. The more the merrier, so long as everyone knows where they stand and chatters amiably and often. And cleans up after themselves.

I can’t abide a mess, in romance or sitting rooms.

How do you maintain your dental care?

With a liquid diet.

Fan Art Lord A by doyouraiklose

 

And with that we bit the good vampire farewell for the moment.

Yours in liquid dieting,

Miss Gail

  • Did you want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? He only acknowledges Chirrup members these days, because we love them bestest. Sign up here.
  • Not into newsletters? Get only new releases by following Gail on Amazon or BookBub!

OUT NOW!

The Omega Objection San Andreas Shifters

Amazon | Kobo | B&N | iBooks
Direct from Gail

Boy Meets Boy says:

The Omega Objection was a sweet, sexy, low angst read that’s entertaining and balances the line between romance and action well about a man who finally finds his place among a bunch of so called misfits and another man who finally understands his worth among a bunch of misfits; it was exactly what the doctor ordered. Carriger has created a world that’s uniquely her own in the shifter-verse that I thoroughly enjoy visiting and can’t wait to see what comes next.”

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

  • The 5th Gender (a Tinkered Stars sci-fi as G. L. Carriger). No links as yet…
  • Reticence, The 4th and final Custard Protocol book. August 6, 2019
  • Secret Project Ommm, October 2019 to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Soulless.
  • Need to know what Gail is writing right now? That’s in the Chirrup.

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Rare Footage of the Elusive Dumbo Octopus

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Stop Being Afraid of MSG

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Sex Tips From Male Novelists

Book News:

10 Great Bookish Podcasts We’ve Discovered in 2018

Quote of the Day:

“Could you PLEASE stop staring at me like you’re thinking ‘The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his sternum.’?”

~ Overheard in Borderlands Books, from their awesome occasional blog

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!


Dear Lord Akeldama: On Ill Advised Color Choices & Fashionable Drinks

Posted by Gail Carriger

He’s back! Please welcome the Good Vampire to the blog today!

These questions all come from new Chirrup members, so if you want to ask him something, that’s how you do it!

Dear Lord Akeldama…

What are some things that make someone interesting enough to talk to, in your opinion?

Questions. People who ask questions are always more interesting than those who do not.

Any current fashion advice for a Lady with Dandy tendencies?

This Tumblr is for you. You can thank me later.

What kind of new magic will next be born into the world?

Well you can ask my creator, she’s rather taken with quinessence at the moment. You’ll have to read the San Andreas Shifter series to find out more but I’m enjoying the books, they are quite sexy and Manifest Destiny is charming.

What are your tips for writer’s block?

Don’t be ridiculous, scribbling, I don’t write! My creator, on the other hand, has this blog post for you.

Court Suit, ca 1810

What is the color would you suggest to wear for next year?

All of them, in well coordinated waves, of course.

Rubies or emeralds?

Diamonds go with everything, buttercup.

What was the first tea that truly made you fall in love with tea?

My creator is more of a tea fan than I am. I am always happy to serve it to others, of course. But in general my preference is for another warm beverage, served fresh, of course.

Is there a tea you prefer when you need to brood in a particularly majestic fashion?

Majesty requires alcohol, my slurpy darling, not tea. Champagne, of course. Brooding, I’m afraid, is customarily a job for claret or brandy.

George Heinrich von Kirn (German, 1736–1793)

In all the years you have lived, what has been your favourite fashion?

Rococo

Which color should be banned from the spectrum? For me it’s puce – neither fish nor fowl that one.

I’m not wild about chartreuse. My creator has another term for it but you need to give her several champagnes first before she’ll admit to it.

Must one’s shoes match one’s bag and/or blouse? I am being told I must. If so, why? 

The only rule I have for shoes is that they must match each other.

What is your opinion on velvet?

Favorable. Who doesn’t want to wear something that is both beautiful to look at and sumptuous to touch?

1873-1875 The Victoria & Albert Museum

 

Thank you, Lord Akeldama, for you wise words.

Until next time,

Yours in velvet,

Miss Gail

OUT NOW!

The Omega Objection San Andreas Shifters

Amazon | Kobo | B&N | iBooks
Direct from Gail

Can a gentle giant with a trampled heart
show a man who’s been running all his life that
sometimes there are monsters worth running towards?

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

  • The 5th Gender (a Tinkered Stars sci-fi under the G. L. Carriger pen name). No links as yet, wait for it…
  • Reticence, The 4th and final Custard Protocol book. August 2019
  • Secret Project Ommm, coming October 2019 to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Soulless.
  • Need to know more about what Gail is writing right now? That’s in the Chirrup.

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

1890s hat

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Borderlands Cafe honey & agave

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Amazon is Inexplicably Destroying Indie Author Careers By Randomly Removing eBooks From the Kindle Store

Book News:

Omaga pest control. Most amusing given my latest book.

Quote of the Day:

“Random thought. I kinda feel like my books are gentle word hugs.”

~ Gail Carriger

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!

 


Please Write Us A Story About Lord Akeldama, Miss Gail! (Occasional FAQ)

Posted by Gail Carriger

Write Goldenrod’s backstory for the love of Oolong!!!

Look Gentle Reader,

Lord Akeldama is best in very small doses.

Writing him for any length of time, IMPOSSIBLE. Can you imagine spending the space of one short story in that man’s head, let alone an entire book?

via antique royals tumblr

Plus most of his charm is to do with his mystery, if I tell you too much about him you’ll find him less interesting.

Although someone once said I should write about him from the perspective of his cat, which seems too silly even for me. (I know right? Who knew those words would ever come from my fingers?) But it is a possibility. Maybe some day when I am very drunk and I feel like the cat has something to say. The cat has to come alive as a voice in my head and have a specific scene or story to tell before this will happen. I’m not saying it’s impossible, just very very improbable. (10 points to anyone who gets that reference.)

Here’s what I can tell you…

There is a big, MASSIVE, reveal about Lord Akeldama’s past and his reasons for doing what he does in Reticence. So if you aren’t caught up on the Custard Protocol I recommend you do so before the last one comes out because otherwise the chatter will drive you mad.

Mad I tell you!

If what you love about Lord Akeldama is his flirty irreverence and general all knowing superiority than you should check out bot Max and Mana in the San Andreas Shifter series. And I and promise you that you will love Tristol, my alien character in the 5th Gender.

Hush now and let me write,

Miss Gail

Other People’s Opinions

Why Comic Relief Characters Often Don’t Make Good Main Characters

OUT NOV 4, 2018!

The Omega Objection San Andreas Shifters

Amazon | Kobo | B&N | iBooks
Direct from Gail

Can a gentle giant with a trampled heart
show a man who’s been running all his life that
sometimes there are monsters worth running towards?

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

  • The 5th Gender (a tinkered stars sci-fi under the G. L. Carriger brand). No links as yet, wait for it…
  • Secret Project Ommm, coming October 2019 to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Soulless.
  • Need to know more about what Gail is writing right now? That’s in the Chirrup.

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

More Than Just Representation: 5 Queer Reads

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

“I get very worried about this idea of art. Having been an English literary graduate, I’ve been trying to avoid the idea of doing art ever since. I think the idea of art kills creativity.”

~ Douglas Adams

Book News:

Fan Art Lord Akeldama & baby Rue

Quote of the Day:

“… and that’s how I snuck an incredibly tasteful orgy into my young adult novel.”

~ Overheard in Borderlands Books, from their awesome occasional blog 

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!


Dear Lord Akeldama: Have You Ever Loved A Woman? And Other Intrusive Questions

Posted by Gail Carriger

 
It’s always a surprise to me when the Good Vampire wishes to drop by my blog. But it’s always a pleasure as well, and I am well aware that I need only step back and let him do his thing without interference.
So, without further ado, Gentle Reader, here is Lord Akeldama answering some of your many questions…
Briax asks,
Sir, I understand that your personal network keeps you well informed as to all things, but in the matter of technology, how do you determine which is the most promising and which is rubbish? All of it appears new and fresh so what determines your choices?
My dear buckles, I merely ask myself the on all important question: is it pretty?
Jim asks,
Greetings Sir, I’ve had a bit of a tiff with a colleague over his cutting remarks concerning my use of a silk brocade in a new waistcoat. He feels that I am dressing above my station. How do I properly respond in this matter?
My dear snerkles, one should always dress for the station one wants! Clothing is like an education, you can never have too much of the best kind, but something ill fitting or ill advised is best forgotten.

Questions from Chirrup!

(A quick note from Miss Gail. All Dear Lord A questions henceforth will be sourced in the Chirrup and I have a number of them to pass along to him. So there will be plenty more in the future.)

How would you recommend decorating a Great Room in an Arizona style house?

Like a sunset, all beautiful evening colors, drama drama drama! And, of course, lavishly. Do everything lavishly, my little desert flower. Why bother with anything less?

Lavender or roses?

I prefers something bolder, foxgloves or gladiolas. Big and bright and not strong smelling. The only scent in a room should be one’s own, my turtle dove.

What tea set pattern is a favorite?

I rather enjoy the boldness of something like Wileman Imari’s “Sunflower and Leaf Border.” But I have several so I may coordinate with my outfit of the day, of course, my little flitter-mouse.

Wileman Imari Sunflower & Leaf Border (from a defunked Etsy listing)

What is your first name?

My dear honeysuckle, I’m fairly certain we are not on terms of such intimate acquaintance as that!

I’m always uncertain about many things and often feel myself to be the complete incarnation of a complete drab. Please grant me some of your infinite wisdom and amazing sense both fashion and mind. Please explain to me what I should do.

Be bold! Fortune supposedly favors us, particularly the fashionable. The secret to enjoying life, my wilting honeysuckle, is not to care what other people think. It’s delightfully liberating and such fun.

What do your favorite pair of socks look like?

Socks? Socks! Darling I wear silk stockings, doesn’t everyone?

Stockings 1885-1889 The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Has there ever been a woman for you? An epic romance with amazing clothes?

One should never be restrictive in ones tastes. My creator is fond of the saying that one should try everything three times, in case the first two weren’t prepared properly. She is, naturally, talking about food. But then… so am I. You never know,  cuddlebiscuit, you could be missing your new favorite thing! Why impose limits?

Which vampire was responsible for spreading the news about the “cure” for “hysteria” for women?

Dr Caedes, of course. Isn’t it always?

Every time I hear Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen I think of you. Do you have a song you consider to be your personal theme song?

You mean aside from Maneater?

Stock 1830s The Metropolitan Museum of Art

What should I wear for night out?

Something that makes you feel powerful. Comfort is all well and good, but nothing is more of a confidence booster than power. My creator likes red, I like jewel toned velvet. For some it’s boots. Well, let’s be honest, for many it’s boots.

Get yourself some fabulous boots, stompling.

What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Wearing a hat or not wearing a hat?

Did you have a great love?

My darling, I have always been an overachiever. I have many.

And with that we bow the Good Vampire out, and thank him for another scintillating , if confusing, visit. I do hope you have enjoyed out time together.

Yours in fabulousness,

Miss Gail

OUT NOV 4, 2018!

The Omega Objection San Andreas Shifters

Amazon | Kobo | B&N | iBooks
Direct from Gail

Can a gentle giant with a trampled heart
show a man who’s been running all his life that
sometimes there are monsters worth running towards?

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

  • The 5th Gender (a tinkered stars sci-fi under the G. L. Carriger brand). No links as yet, wait for it…
  • Secret Project Ommm, coming October 2019 to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Soulless.
  • Need to know more about what Gail is writing right now? That’s in the Chirrup.

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Friday, August 1, 1862

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Teeth Whitening in the Victorian Era: From Charcoal Paste to Sulfuric Acid from Author Mimi Matthews

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Science Fiction Was Around in Medieval Times – Here’s What it Looked Like

Book News:

Ace Artemis Fan Artist No one said you cannot accessorize and weaponize. Especially when your dining company is of the fang and fur variety. Alexia Tarabotti from The Parasol Protectorate

Quote of the Day:

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!


Dear Lord Akeldama ~ On Rude Brothers & Getting His Own Novella (nope)

Posted by Gail Carriger

 

I invited the good vampire back to the blog today, Gentle Reader. He was in a bit of an abrupt and snarky mood. A snit, if you will.

I think he’s mad he doesn’t make an appearance in my latest book. He doesn’t like it when I don’t give him enough attention.

Chirrup Members Ask Lord Akeldama…

Fall front or conventional button fly for breeches?

Everything is better with buttons. I have only one image for you, my dove, sailor pants.

Any advice for a young, married woman working to increase her fashion sense, my rude brother often points out I have none.

Make the rude brother shop for you, my little foxglove.

How did Gail convince you to participate?

She’s very very trixy.

Dressing Gown 1832 The McCord Museum

Do you feel as though you’ve been able to grow personally in the centuries since your turning? Obviously you do well keeping up with (or generating) the cutting edge of fashion and that’s part of how you’ve remained vital for so long, but internally has being undead somewhat stagnated your growth, or would you say that your sequential loves and losses have also kept you evolving personally?

We are all creatures of our time, sweetpea. The questions is, which time?

When will you get a book to yourself?

Never, dumpling. I’m far too difficult to pin down in merely a few pages. I will not be trivialized! Except by myself, of course.

What is your favorite tea?

Tea? Tea! Blood or champagne or both, snookums! How could you possibly suggest otherwise?

What are your (or the Creator’s) favorite teas?

She’s very plebeian. Drinks a great deal of English breakfast and refuses anything too bright or brisk. The woman is nothing if not opinionated about tea, my honeysop. She reliably informs me that this is her favorite, Twinings 1706 Strong.

{Gail interjects: I have a whole list of favorite teas and tea related items in this Amazon list.}

Mademoiselle Geraldine’s girls have a few essentials, and Lady M always carries her parasol; what are your “must-have” accessories?

Well there is my golden pipe for important occasions but generally I find if one dresses perfectly everything else will be provided as needed, my little poppet.

How did you come to live in England?

Very carefully.

OUT NOW!

Amazon (print) | Kobo | B&N (print) | iBooks 

Direct from Gail (Optional Signed Edition) 

How to Marry a Werewolf (In 10 Easy Steps) ~ A Claw & Courtship Novella by Gail Carriger features a certain white wolf we all love to hate (except those of us weirdos who love to love him).

Guilty of an indiscretion? Time to marry a werewolf.

Rejected by her family, Faith crosses the Atlantic, looking for a marriage of convenience and revenge. But things are done differently in London. Werewolves are civilized. At least they pretend to be.

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Has Internalized Misogyny Been Stopping Me from Reading Romance Novels My Whole Life?

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Second half of this Reading Glasses podcast episode is an interview with Navah Wolfe (editor, Saga) and she provides the single best explanation of what an editor does at a publishing house that I have ever heard or read. It’s MILLION times better than anything you’ve ever seen represented in a movie.

Book News:

Pink books & teacups! How to Marry a Werewolf, Prudence, Etiquette & Espionage, Soulless

Quote of the Day:

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!


Dear Lord Akeldama on Choosing a Lover & Raising Teen Girls

Posted by Gail Carriger

It’s been a while since I have done one of these, so please welcome the gentleman vampire back to my blog this week, Gentle Reader.

As always Lord Akeldama may not give you the answer you wish, he always gives the question the answer it deserves.

(If you asked him a question over the past few months and do not see the answer, it is always possible he has answered it before or it’s still in the hopper.)

Samantha asks:

If I were to give a vampire tea, what tea would be most appropriate and enjoyable for my guests?

Beautiful, young nubile individuals with those lovely blue veins very close to the surface. And bodybuilder athletic types. Those arms, you know my dearest morning glory?

Oh tea? No no no, water is much better. Perhaps some juice. Keep the hydration and blood sugar levels up. Tea is for friends, juice is for pets.

Book asks:

How high a heel can a man wear in daytime vs nighttime ?

Is this a trick question, snugglepuss?

Jami asks:

How can one be fashionable while suffering from a terrible headache? The movies suggest this is possible so I thought you’d know if it was or a deceitful fiction.

Velvet couches, cooling cloths and those slippers with the feathers over the toe. Oh and those filmy kimono robes with more feathers on the sleeves.

I remind you, dearest petunia bud, that ladies of quality do not suffer they languish.

Nightgown 1815-1822 The Victoria & Albert Museum

Caiti asks:

What IS the proper way to pronounce your name?

Ak – elle – dah – ma

Anne-Laure asks:

Any advice for Ladies who are not in a relationship and want to meet new people (maybe their own Lord Macon) but are not ready for spending time and money on dating online, or having a false interest in sports.

There is no better social engagement than dancing. And you know, my dearest waltzing petal, a man who can dance has… rhythm.

All hail the Percy Smirk via oimpernelfans tumblr3

Glan asks:

You have experience raising a daughter. What advice do you have for a single father of twin girls about to enter their teen years?

Have a ready supply of chocolate and handkerchiefs on your person at all times. Be fair and firm and fashionable. If you do not want them to like it, like it yourself with vigor.

Susan asks:

BTW please ask Lord A what are his favourite ladies’ designers? Also if he prefers Freddie Mercury or Adam Ant?

I have a soft spot for Worth, of course. And there is so much nostalgia for me wrapped up in the designs of Madame Vionnet. Pun intended, my grecian goddess.

Freddie Mercury of course, the name alone is superior.

FanArtLordADDBurgundy

Want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? Simply reply to the latest issue of the Chirrup with your question. Sign up here.

Coop de Book for March is Lady of Devices by Shelley Adina. (Discussion here.)

LATEST RELEASE

Amazon | Kobo | B&N | iBooks | Direct

Romancing the Werewolf ~ A Supernatural Society Novella by Gail Carriger is now available (audio will follow).

Gay reunion romance featuring your favorite reluctant werewolf dandy, the return of a certain quietly efficient Beta, and some unexpected holiday gifts.

UPCOMING SCRIBBLES

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

 

Allen & Ginter (American, Richmond, Virginia)
Take Arms, from the Parasol Drills series (N18) for Allen & Ginter Cigarettes Brands, 1888

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

I tried Kilogram’s Breakfast tea blend recently. A little too brisk for me, more like Irish breakfast, heavy on the Darjeeling or maybe Keemun. I tend to prefer a Assam and Ceylon blend.

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Exploding Chocolate Teacakes

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Optimizing Your Goodreads Author Profile Picture

Book News:

Quote of the Day:

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? There’s a wiki for that!


Dear Lord Akeldama ~ Gifts, Endearments & Peas

Posted by Gail Carriger

Please welcome the gentleman vampire back to my blog this week, Gentle Reader!

As always Lord Akeldama may not give you the answer you wish, he always gives the question the answer it deserves.

With Biffy & Lyall’s book on the horizon, I may invite the werewolves over for a round, perhaps you have questions for them?

Rudderbuddy asks:

Where did you get you love for food and floral related nicknames?

You can think of a better source of endearments?

Melissa asks:

When visiting the home of a new acquaintance for the first time, what is the most appropriate gift, or is a gift necessary?

I’m always in favor of something small and edible ~ chocolates, bubbly, svelte young men with sparkling eyes and questionable moral fiber.

Jessica asks:

What is the best possible way to go about mixing patterns in fashion choices?

Keep your colors close and your sizes separate. In other words, mix a large pattern with a small one, but make sure they are both black & white.

Mandy asks:

What fashions would you put a butterfly of a toddler in, considering that she likes to run and climb…

Waistcoat and trousers, naturally, darling. Or perhaps a very small lab coat emblazoned with “evil genius in training,” just to keep everyone around watchful.

Court suit Uncut voided silk velvet, silk faille, silk embroidery floss, gold & silver embroidery purl & frieze, rhinestone & metal sequins c. 1810-14

Sharon asks:

I’m considering becoming a vampire queen. Suggestions? Hints?

Endeavor to be as fabulous as possible.

Tracy asks:

If one has an extensive library, do you recommend shelving them by height, color, or some other system?

Color, setting, and approval rating.

Avery asks:

If one must color one’s hair and belonging to the male gender with pale olive skin would you advise, ginger or blonde or black?

Black, my darling little eliá.

Irene asks:

If one is setting up a network of secret agents, what is the best type of training for them: espionage, assassination, accountancy, or a combination?

Never forget table manners, wardrobe selection, and hat decoration. Oh and the consumption of peas. Peas always give trouble to those who have not been trained properly.

 

Want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? Join the Chirrup

{Coop de Book: Gail’s monthly read along for October 2017 is Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede.}

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

1905 (Source- pinterest.com) via fawnvelveteen tumblr

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Why octopuses are building small “cities” off the coast of Australia

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

10+ Times Writers Took Book Dedications To Another Level

Book News:

By Rebecca Nandi

Quote of the Day:

“I have only two things to say to you, Lord Tilbury. One is that you have ruined a man’s life. The other is Pip-pip.”

~ P.G. Wodehouse

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? There’s a wiki for that!


The Lord Akeldama Style Meme (Parasol Protectorate Special Extras)

Posted by Gail Carriger

A little while ago, Gentle Reader,

I collected a bunch of questions for Lord Akeldama, for his occasional Dear Lord Akeldama column here on my blog. Most of these, I found, were about fashion and style. Some were more suited to a kind of meme than the Good Vampire’s usual verboseness.

So here, for your sharing and answering pleasure, is the result:

1. Blondes or brunettes?
2. What do you think of mini top hats for men?
3. Boxers or briefs? Boxer-briefs?
4. What is the greatest fashion disaster you ever witnessed?
5. What is your favorite color?
6. What period of history did you think had the best fashion sense?
7. What is your favorite fabric?
8. Ruffles. A do or don’t?
9. Hat or no hat and if so, which and when?
10. Where do you acquire your wardrobe?
11. Zip then fasten… or fasten then zip?
12. What would you say is a modern day crime of fashion?
13. Leggings as pants… Yay or nay?

I assembled them thus, and asked the good vampire himself in a rapid-fire manner.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, is the result:

The Lord Akeldama Style Meme:

1. Blondes or brunettes?
Never ask a vampire his favorite flavor, would you wish to eat the same thing every day?
2. What do you think of mini top hats for men?
Why would a gentleman show himself to be smaller?
3. Boxers or briefs? Boxer-briefs?
Knickerbockers.
4. What is the greatest fashion disaster you ever witnessed?
The wrong gentleman in knickerbockers.
5. What is your favorite color?
Sunset.
6. What period of history did you think had the best fashion sense?
French Rococo.
7. What is your favorite fabric?
Satin.
8. Ruffles. A do or don’t?
A discretionary tale.
9. Hat or no hat and if so, which and when?
Hats are worn outside. To protect one from the sun, of course.
10. Where do you acquire your wardrobe?
From my tailor, obviously.
11. Zip then fasten… or fasten then zip?
Button.
12. What would you say is a modern day crime of fashion?
Crocs.
13. Leggings as pants… Yay or nay?
We’re back to knickerbockers.

Please feel free to share and answer for yourself, Lord Akeldama would be proud.

Want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? Join the Chirrup

{Gail’s monthly read along for June 2017 is Local Custom by Lee & Miller.}

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Allen & Ginter (American, Richmond, Virginia)
Trail Arms, from the Parasol Drills series (N18) for Allen & Ginter Cigarettes Brands, 1888
American

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Tea Caddy in my Office

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Give Them Bread, Not Muffins or Cake

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Victorian Writing Advice

Book News:

Evaine’s Books, Books, and More Books says of Prudence:

“Another rollicking romp through an alternate Victorian world full of fun and adventure and wonderfully clever banter.”

Quote of the Day:

“Gentlemen are more liable to baldness than ladies, owing no doubt to the use of the hat.”

~ Victorian Etiquette

Questions about Gail’s steampunk world? There’s a wiki for that!
Share & Enjoy!


Dear Lord Akeldama ~ On Fashion, Feminism, & Faux

Posted by Gail Carriger

Please welcome the gentleman vampire back to my blog this week, Gentle Reader. As always Lord Akeldama is happy to entertain your questions, although he may not give you the answer you wish, he always gives your question the answer it deserves.

via celuloid-jam tumblr

And now…

Dear Lord Akeldama

Lisa asks:

Since you are a master of subtle manipulation, how would you get a teenage boy to clean up after himself without seeming to nag?

Keep him company in his own room until it is clean. Set up residence with a book. Nothing is more off-putting to a young gentleman than lack of privacy and constant exposure to his own parent. Other option? Offer to clean it yourself… and Instagram the most embarrassing things you find.

Christopher asks:

What do you think of Hawaiian shirts for very casual daywear?

I try not to think about them at all.

Alicia asks:

How do you politely tell someone to stuff it?

I find turning my head away, finding that something vastly interesting has caught my attention elsewhere, and simply drifting off works wonders.

Pamela asks:

What to do when one’s physical limitations demand practical shoes?

Do not go anywhere.

Mara asks:

What is a lady of reputable breeding and with a tendency to go against the social norm to do to when faced with stupid and boring ladies who think a woman’s sense in life are clothes, marriage, and children.

Write.

Jack asks:

Flossing or just brushing?

What a silly question to ask a man who has a liquid diet.

Court Suit, ca 1810

Fiona asks:

How do you feel about the Faux trend: i.e. Faux fur, Faux Leather, T-shirts with tuxedos printed on them, leggings printed to look like jeans.

Is fashion not, at its heart and soul, entirely motivated by deception and manipulation? Trompe-l’œil away, my sneaky darlings, visual espionage is an ancient tradition. The Romans did it with walls.

Cherries asks:

Honorable sir, what should one do when a present has been given, but no thanks has been offered in the form of a card or note or even…gasp…an email?

Assume that the present was either undelivered, unacceptable, insulting, or unwelcome. Whatever the case, do not bestow another.

FanArtLordADandy-Maker-DollDivine

Liza asks:

Lord Akeldama, pray tell, what is your favorite book?

I am rather partial to Mr. Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Gray. There are some who have speculated that it is about me. I assure you there is no painting in my garret. Although there is this fresco in a stairwell in the British Museum… Of course, The Vampyre is a work of pure comic genius, always good of a laugh.

Like Lord Akeldama? Look out for Manifest Destiny in my next book, Kitsune Drag Queen extraordinaire.

Want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? Join the Chirrup

{Gail’s Coop de Book for May 2017 is Radiance by Grace Draven.}

GAIL’S DAILY DOSE

Your Moment of Parasol . . .

1900 Longchamp, France Antique-Royals tumblr2

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

40 Unique Teapots to Help You Savour the Taste of Tea

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Keeping Time in the Victorian Kitchen

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

“Writers don’t forget the past; they turn it into raw material.”

~ Joyce Rachelle

Book News:

Quote of the Day:

“It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.”

~ P.G. Wodehouse

Questions about Gail’s steampunk world? There’s a wiki for that!
Share & Enjoy!


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