Your Fill-In-The-Blank Author Bio
[Name] lives in [City] where she pretends to be a [pithy comment on boring day job] when she would rather be writing. She spends her free time [standard hobby] and [less standard hobby]. She also likes to [quirky and slightly off base skill – like fencing or black belt in some combat skill]. She lives with a [tolerant, saintly, long-suffering] husband/wife/partner and two [witty descriptor] [cats/children] and a [dog/garden].Ah the creativity of author bios. Why, I ask, would I want to read a book written by someone who doesn’t even have the imagination to come up with a funny bio?
This book took place in England, so I wanted to establish both credentials and a connection (I mention a British parent, importing tea, and travel). My books are funny and sexy so I wanted that tone to come across (the harem, general tone, descriptive word choice). The main character is a big gruff werewolf (hence “curmudgeon”) and the setting is historical, hence use of the word “Colonies.” I write with complex vocabulary, so I make certain this is also represented.
I had three sentences to work with for my bio and at least two things in each sentence tie to my world, my style as a writer, and my general whimsy. Someone who doesn’t respond well to this bio, probubly won’t like my books.
I’m not holding this up as an ideal, I’m merely stressing the fact that your bio is on your book. It is on your website (and lots of other places I hope). People read it as an insight, not into you as a person, but into you as an author. Notice I don’t mention my home town (not relevant), nor do I name hobbies (who cares, really).
Look, let’s be honest here: Your bio is a marketing tool. It’s brand management. Don’t cop out with a pat formula. You’re a writer? Write this as well and with as much attention as you would the book itself, if not more.
Now let’s talk author photos.
If you are a male genre author you must cross your arms and stare balefully into the camera in a “I suffer the woes of the universe” kind of way. If you are female genre author make certain your hair is down and you either, 1. hide coyly behind it, or 2. angle slightly to profile in the romance novelist way or, 3. put chin on fist in thoughtful manner.
Sigh. That’s sarcasm. That is.
No. Bad author.
Quote of the Day:
“Tension is wonderful for making people laugh.”
~ John Cleese