Dear Gentle Reader, this blog is part of my occasional FAQ series being comprised of questions I get a lot and would like to answer here in depth.
Where’s the Audiobook of X…
Parasol Protectorate, Finishing School, or Custard Protocol book?
What you’re asking about here, is traditionally published. Please direct your inquiry to the audio publisher of record for the previous book in the series.
Where is the Audiobook of Gail’s latest…
Parasolverse tie in story? San Andreas or Tinkered Stars offering?
If you can’t find it by clicking on the audiobook buy button on that book’s website page (and if you can’t, that button brought you here *waves*) or it’s not in Audible in your country, then here are the possible reasons:
- The story you are looking for may be in production. Sign up the Chirrup to find out exactly when it will release. (And if there are snags.) Also I give away audiobook codes pretty darn regularly.
- If you are outside the USA or Canada: There may be distribution & rights issues in play. I’m working on it, struggling, or have given up.
- My new audiobooks ARE NOT necessarily available on the same platforms as my original series. They are always on Apple & Audible. Traditional publishers get more and better access to distribution.
- I’ve no plans to make it an audiobook.
If you belong to my newsletter I now offer each new audiobook to buy directly from me as MP3 digital download which you then own yourself FOREVER, and no platform can restrict it or take it away from you. However, each new audiobook is only offered for a limited amount of time, privately to the Chirrup, before Audible (AKA Amazon) gets its monopolistic greasy mitts on it and restricts me from selling direct via a draconian contract of DOOM.
- Audiobooks are costly. I only want to produce quality books. Therefore, I’m careful about investing in production. We’re talking thousands of dollars.
- Shorts stories rarely become audio. Because some costs are the same regardless of length, short stories are prohibitively expensive.
- Audiobooks are time consuming for everyone, so it’s unlikely one will EVER drop at the same time as an ebook.
- Voice talent is not easy to find. I only use high quality professional voice actors.
- If you listen to an audiobook and then return it for a rebate, the money is taken back from the author. The platform risks nothing. If this habit continues, it will make it fiscally impossible for me to continue to produce any audio at all. Stop stealing from me, please.
Why is the one I want not anywhere at all?
Because the book you want in audio did not make enough money as a print/ebook to warrant the expense. If people don’t want to read or review my book in print, then likely they really won’t want to listen to it. I know you may want to, but you’re obviously unique.
- If you are outside the USA or Canada and you know the audiobook exists (just not in your country), I suggest buying directly from me.
But I REALLY WANT the book on audio, how about crowd funding it?
Time project managing is also money. That’s exponentially more work on the back end than you think it is, and while I enjoyed my Kickstarter experience with Crudrat, I am not inclined to do it again. Ever.
Chirrup members are kept regularly updated on the woes and drama behind audiobook production. They also get audiobook codes on occasion and early access to buy all new audiobooks first and exclusively.
Sometimes it can get very exciting indeed.
Why are names (or whatever) pronounced differently between books? Why do characters have different accents?
Because I was never asked originally how to pronounce anything. Because narrators do not talk with or listen to each other. Generally speaking in the Parasolverse Emma Newman, who narrates many of my novellas, uses the pronunciation I hear in my head. We actually talk to each other.
Why do you not use the voice talent from the Parasol Protectorate (Emily) or Finishing School/Custard Protocol books (Moira) for other books?
Both are high-end professionals with multiple contracts for existing books. They do not have the time (nor do I have the funds). However, if I find a voice actress I (and fans) like, who is comfortable with my range of accents, then I will try to use her multiple times. See Emma Newman who narrates How to Marry a Werewolf, Romancing the Inventor, Meat Cute, and more.
Will you read/record your own books?
No. (See the part about high quality and professional. I am neither.)
Will you ever use an American voice actor?
Miss Gail, I want to do eeet! I can voice act with the best of ’em.
- Do you have a professional voice acting website with samples and contract information?
- How good is your accent range & do you have a reel?
- Do you have a studio or booth and are your recording instruments high quality?
- Will you work for hire (flat fee) and are your rates competitive?
Answer yes to ALL of the above questions?
Then you may contact me through the calling card feature on my website. However, I have a producer and he has the final say.
Will you do any more full cast audio (like Crudrat) or use multiple voice actors for multiple POVs?
Unlikely. I’m open to working with a producer on this but won’t do it myself. Here’s a sample of the first chapter to see what we’re talking about…
CAN WE HAVE MORE SAMPLES?
Poison or Protect narrated by Suzanne Lavington
Defy or Defend narrated by Emma Newman
Ambush or Adore narrated by Emma Newman
Romancing the Inventor narrated by Emma Newman
Romancing the Werewolf narrated by Peter Newman
How to Marry a Werewolf narrated by Emma Newman
Meat Cute narrated by Emma Newman
Soulless (and the rest of the Parasol Protectorate series) narrated by Emily Gray
Etiquette & Espionage (and the rest of the Finishing School series) narrated by Moira Quirk
Prudence (and the rest of the Custard Protocol series) narrated by Moira Quirk
The San Andreas Shifters Series
The Sumage Solution narrated by Kirt Graves
The Omega Objection narrated by Kirt Graves
The Enforcer Enigma narrated by Kirt Graves
The Tinkered Stars Universe
Crudrat full cast audio, produced by Artistic Whispers
The 5th Gender narrated by Michael Lesley
Hidden in Pages says of Imprudence audiobook:
“The narrator does an absolutely wonderful job narrating and it was a joy to listen to. I kept finding myself creating reasons to listen to the audiobook so that I could listen to more.”
Midwest Book Review: Library Watch says of the Imprudence audiobook:
“Imprudence will prove to be an enduringly popular addition to community library audio book collections and is a “must” for all science fiction and fantasy enthusiasts.”
I Am, Indeed says of the Imprudence audiobook:
“Narration for this story is provided by Moira Quirk, and she does manage to present both sides of every conversation with clarity and style: each character is distinct, the rapid-fire moments of dialogue don’t impede her forward progress, and there are appropriate pauses for breath, laughter and tension (when required).”
More on audiobooks!
“…every carriger audiobook is like a being told you are going to get an entire month paid vacation with unlimited snuggle up doing whatever you want time, and loads of perfect cups of tea and cookies. It’s a dream come true.”
GAIL’S DAILY DOSE
Your Moment of Parasol . . .
Quote of the Day:
“I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.”
~ P. G. Wodehouse
More from Gail? Join the Chirrup!