Tagged Audiobook

Meat Cute: The Hedgehog Incident Audio Now Available & FAQs (Special Extras)

Posted by Gail Carriger


The Hedgehog Incident AT LAST IN AUDIO! Here!

For those of you who missed the Subterranean special edition, Fan Service, (or could not afford it, or don’t like print editions) I have been working diligently to get you the audiobook of the special short story Meat Cute: The Hedgehog Incident. And now it available! The digital ebook version will be available Feb 16, 2020.

Yes this is the one that relays how Alexia and Conall first met!

Meat Cute Audiobook Cover Art Hedgehog Incident

Directly from Gail!

Google Play

Other vendors are coming but honestly you can just get it direct and then you don’t have to wait.

Digital preorder is up too, here’s where you can get it:

Amazon | Kobo | Apple | B&N | Elsewhere

Why Preorders Matter

Sample the Audiobook?


This is the story of how Alexia and Conall met for the first time. AKA the Hedgehog Incident. It is ONLY A SHORT STORY! It is NOT A FULL BOOK. The audiobook is just a little over an hour long.

Questions You May Have

Why are we waiting on the digital edition?

Because I feel like audiobook listeners never get any special treatment they are always left waiting for their version and it usually comes last. I wanted to give them something special for a change.

Is that OG Alexia on the cover?

Yes. Donna (my cover model) and I remain friends to this day. She happened to have some more photos from that old series of shoots she did (which ended up on the original Parasol Protectorate series). I bought one and ta da!

Soulless Trade PP1 Gail Carriger

What else can you say about the story?

In Meat Cute, Alexia Tarabotti attends what appears to be a very dull London party, until the new werewolf Alpha turns up, is unconscionably rude to her, and sits on a hedgehog. Look out for cheeky appearances from other much beloved characters, not to mention the strategic application of a certain wicker chicken.

Will this one be available individually in print?

No, it’s too short.

I have considered turning it into special swag, like a mini sample booklet, but there doesn’t seem to be a good printing service designed specifically for that. I’m too old to figure out how to do it for myself in a way that isn’t prohibitively expensive in time and money.

It may be in another omnibus some day, or at the back of one of my novellas, or in an short story collection or anthology, and I will let you know if/when that happens.

Fan Service Indie Shelf New Office Free Gail Carriger

Will Fan Service be available again?

No. Special hardcover books are by definition limited run. That means only 550 (or so) books are ever printed. It’s part of the promise to those who buy them, that no more will be made so it really is a special collectors item.

There will me more special editions of that style in the future though. And least I really hope so.

Yours (plugged into audio),

Miss Gail

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Meat Cute: The Hedgehog Incident featuring Alexia & Conall’s first encounter!

Meat Cute The Hedgehog Incident Gail Carriger Free Download


In this short story Alexia Tarabotti attends what seems to be a dull London party, until the new werewolf Alpha turns up, is unconscionably rude to her, and sits on a hedgehog.

Upcoming Scribbles?

Gail’s Daily Tea Party

Tisane of Nifty 

Lake Como Italy in 2000 by Gail Carriger umbrella parasol

Lake Como Italy in 2000 by Gail Carriger

Writerly Tincture 

It is Past Time to Fix IndieBound

Book Nibble 

Steampunk purveyors Abney Park on burning calliopes and Victorian sci-fi (Gail Carriger mentioned)

Quote to Sip 

“Schools and libraries are the twin cornerstones of a civilized society. Libraries are only good if people use them, like books only exist when someone reads them.”

~ Nicholas Meyer

The 5th Gender is Now an Audiobook! Tinkered Stars in Your Ears

Posted by Gail Carriger

I am delighted to announce that The 5th Gender is finally available in audio!

Audible | Amazon | iTunes

You can listen to a sample right here right now!

It is narrated by the amazing Michael Lesley. I chose him because he works with TJ Klune on his comedic books and I knew he had the panto-like range from something as esoteric as a sci-fi featuring aliens.


“By far the greatest strength in the characterization of this story is the writer’s ability to normalize exo-cultural characters and allow us to look through their eyes. Drey serves as our access character, expressing our own confusion and occasional discomfort with his partner’s culture. But as he learns to love Tris, we learn to see the universe through new eyes. And that is the greatest power of a story.”

Aces High Jokers Wild

“The 5th Gender delivers in so many ways: it’s sweet, it’s romantic, it’s funny, and most importantly, it tells a very impactful and very timely story.”

Rally the Readers

“This is a fun, funny, sexy book, and I’m so happy it exists. It hits you in the feels, makes you laugh and cry, and makes you think about matters of family, kin, and the heart.”


“By showing that freedom that humanity has embraced (though humans certainly still have hang-ups about sex, according to other species), and contrasting it with the rigidity of galoi society, Carriger reminds readers of how far modern humanity has to go in accepting a normal beyond cis-heterosexual. But, even for the galoi, she offers a hair of hope at the end, and a reminder that the power to change and become lies in the stories we tell each other. Even stories about adorable lavender aliens and their human crushes.”

Joli Abbott for Den of Geek

“This was smart and complex, contemplating human and alien nature as Carriger creates a fascinating species with their own complicated problems and foibles. Such contrasting dynamics always bring an interesting perspective in seeing ourselves from another point of view and to be more accepting and opening minded about others’ choices and beliefs.”

Boy Meets Boy 

“The 5th Gender is a really engaging story that combines humor, romance, and a little bit of mystery.”

Joyfully Jay

“But be it sci-fi, paranormal, or steampunk…Carriger is a master at crafting characters that leap off the page and into the readers imagination.”

Love Bytes 

Want more of Tris and Drey?

Tell me so in a review!

Please leave one anywhere you like. Honestly, this is my main calibration as to whether I will write more in a series. It’s all very well and good to tell me on Twitter or in a comment or what have you, but I gauge interest and sell through and many other algorithms by how many reviews a book gets. It’s the best reflection of excitement and interest in more.

Also, don’t forget…

Next Chirrup Has A Goodie Box of Exclusivity

If you join the Chirrup by end of day Saturday (Sept 7, 2019) and confirm your email, you’ll get my newsletter on Sunday. In addition to secret behind the scenes information you can enter to win this awesome goodie box:

Also, it’s chock full of gossip! I confess to disliking something immensely in Scotland/Ireland and I talk about a book of mine being soundly rejected. These are things I’d never talk about publicly and are exclusive to my Chirrup members.

Yours in purple noodle heaven,

Miss Gail

  • Want more free goodies, gossip, and behind the scenes info? This stuff goes to my Chirrup members, because I love them bestest. Sign up here.
  • Not into newsletters? Get only new releases by following Gail on Amazon or BookBub!


Reticence: The forth and final Custard Protocol Book!


USA & Canada: Amazon print & digital & audiobook | Kobo | B & N | Apple | Audible | Other

UK digitalprint | Kobo UK | Apple UK coming soon I hope

Amazon Overseas DE | FR | AU 

Kobo Overseas DE | FR | AU

Bookish and proper Percival Tunstell finds himself out of his depth when floating cities, spirited plumbing, and soggy biscuits collide in this delightful conclusion to New York Times bestselling author Gail Carriger’s Custard Protocol series.



Your Moment of Parasol . . .

1900s Jules Bastien-Lepage (French artist, 1848–1884) Girl with a Parasol

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

OMG look: PURPLE NOODLES! Has anyone tried them, are they good?

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

How I Helped My School Library Stock LGBTQ Books

Book News:

The Direction of Greatest Courage interview with Gail Carriger

Quote of the Day:

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

~ Oscar Wilde

Your Moment of Gail


“I suspect it may be like the difference between a drinker and an alcoholic; the one merely reads books, the other needs books to make it through the day.”

(Interview with The Booklovers blog, September 2010)” ~ Gail Carriger

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!

How to Marry A Werewolf Audiobook Available NOW

Posted by Gail Carriger


Audiobook of How to Marry a Werewolf is now available on Audible & Amazon Audio & iTunes!

Audible | Amazon Audio | iTunes

Emma Newman who narrated Romancing the Inventor stepped up to do How to Marry a Werewolf, as every I am delighted with her work.

So what does this mean?

How to Marry is now in every possible format: Print, Digital & Audio.

Behind the Scenes

This audiobook gave me some stick, quite frankly, when casting. You see Faith is American but everyone else is British. Also, I think of my narrator voice as very British. It’s swapped POV too, so half the book is told from an upper crust Channing voice perspective.

What to do?

Go out and find a new American narrator and risk a troubling approach to UK accents? Or use a UK narrator and just have her do the dialogue American?

Well, I have my feelings on the subject but I thought I had better check with you all as well…

As you can see a resounding preference for the UK.

So that’s what I went with.

You’re able to listen now and judge for yourself!

All my love,

Miss Gail

P.S. Did you know I have other independently produced audio?

Romancing the Werewolf

Romancing the Inventor

Poison or Protect

The Sumage Solution

Crudrat (full cast)

Carriger Quartet: Collected Shorts (full cast)

Here’s a Fun Audio Extra!

Yours Truly Recommending 9 Queer Fantasy Books for Pride

Let me know if you like this kind of thing and want more Gail in audio?


Amazon (print) | Kobo | B&N (print) | iBooks 

Direct from Gail (Optional Signed Edition) 

How to Marry a Werewolf (In 10 Easy Steps) ~ A Claw & Courtship Novella by Gail Carriger features a certain white wolf we all love to hate (except those of us weirdos who love to love him).

Guilty of an indiscretion? Time to marry a werewolf.

Rejected by her family, Faith crosses the Atlantic, looking for a marriage of convenience and revenge. But things are done differently in London. Werewolves are civilized. At least they pretend to be.


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Ensemble ‘A la pensée’ by Henry, photo by Talbot, Les Modes June 1914. via mortisia tumblr

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Harpers Bazaar New York Sat June 13 1891 Mother Daughter Trunk Packing

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

How a Small LGBTQ Bookstore Took the Internet By Storm

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Literary Tourism: The Bookstore Bars and Cafés of Paris

Book News:

In which I eat a piece of cake to celebrate my new book baby, about the size of said book baby

Quote of the Day:

“This man approached me [at a convention] & introduced himself as ‘a pre-published author’, meaning it, I think, in the same way that I am ‘pre-dead’.”

~ Overheard at Borderlands

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? Wiki that sheez!

Romancing the Werewolf is Available in Audio, Biffy & Lyall Will Melt Your Heart

Posted by Gail Carriger


Happy new year, my darling Gentle Reader! I am delighted to let you know that the audiobook of Romancing the Werewolf is finally available!

Audible/Amazon | iTunes

Now to forestall the inevitable questions…

Why can’t I find it?

If you were able to get the audiobook of Poison or Protect or Romancing the Inventor, you should be able to get this one at the same venue.

If you don’t see it now, it should be there soon. This is very distributor and country dependent.

Who is the narrator?

I chose the remarkable Peter Newman for this book. He has a particularly erudite way of speaking that felt right for Biffy & Lyall.

If his voice is familiar, it’s because he plays the (possibly) evil butler Lattimer on Hugo winning podcast, Tea & Jeopardy.

Speaking of audiobooks, Poison or Protect audiobook has a new cover. Just because… Gavin!

Word on the street is that last month’s Coop de Book pick, The Lightening-Struck Heart is KILLER in audio. Apparently the narrator is amaze-balls.

Did you want this information the moment it was available? The Chirrup heard about the audiobook last weekend. New stuff goes to my Chirrup members first, because I love them bestest. Sign up here.

Coop de Book: Gail’s monthly read along for January 2018 is Angels Blood (Guild Hunter Book 1) by Nalini Singh.


Amazon | Kobo | B&N | iBooks | Direct

Romancing the Werewolf ~ A Supernatural Society Novella by Gail Carriger is now available (audio will follow).

Gay reunion romance featuring your favorite reluctant werewolf dandy, the return of a certain quietly efficient Beta, and some unexpected holiday gifts.


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Frederick Frieseke (American artist, 1874-1939) Lady with a Parasol

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

7 Writer Types You Should Avoid Becoming

Book News:

Quote of the Day:

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? There’s a wiki for that!

Video: Why Authors Both Love & Hate Audiobooks – Plus Mustaches & Horrifying Confessions (Q&A with Gail Carriger)

Posted by Gail Carriger

In this month’s Facebook Live I talk quite a bit about audio & audiobooks, Lord Akeldama in the 1920s & the REAL reason I travel.

So without further ado, Gentle Reader, here I am waxing loquacious on…


Why Gail loves audio, why she hates it, and how it affects her as an author.

Also: mustaches, much love for Murder by the Book, some hints on future stories, and confessions of a competitive typer. Professor Braithwope’s “Whot whot?” is actually a secret author trick, Gail talks about why.

Relevant Links:


Gail blogs more about audiobooks here.

Narrators, does Gail get to pick them herself and how does she choose?

Behind the Writerbeast

Book Talk!

Find Gail’s book group, Coop de Book, on Goodreads!


Next Facebook Live

Nov 13, 4pm PST | Facebook Live! Romancing the Werewolf Launch Event!

Gail will be doing a live video Q&A on her Facebook Author Page. Come say hi and ask any burning questions about Biffy & Lyall a week after the release.

{Coop de Book: Gail’s monthly read along for September is The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia McKillip.}


  • Meat Cute ~ A Parasolverse Short
    Status: Rough draft complete. Layaway.
    Possible anchor short story for Secret Project A or SS collected/omnibus in 2018 or 2019.
  • TOC ~ San Andreas Shifters #2
    Status: Writing Rough draft.
    The werewolves are back. There’s a bartender with a mysterious ability and a big scruffy man mountain with a powerful crush. The pack’s started a business called Heavy Lifting. Gail is contemplating shifter food trucks ~ Do it raw! Sometimes we wiggle, sometimes the food does.


The Sumage Solution: San Andreas Shifters #1 by G. L. Carriger, now in all editions.
Contemporary m/m paranormal romance featuring a snarky mage and a gruff werewolf. Hella raunchy. Super dirty. Very very fun. Spin off of Marine Biology.

Can a gentle werewolf heal the heart of a smart-mouthed mage?


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Afternoon Dress 1901 The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Money (But Were Afraid to Ask)

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Terry Pratchett’s Unfinished Novels “Destroyed” by Steamroller

Book News:

Features Gail’s short story, Curious Case

Quote of the Day:

Hilarious Thai Salad

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? There’s a wiki for that!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Romancing the Inventor by Gail Carriger

Romancing the Inventor

by Gail Carriger

Giveaway ends September 24, 2017.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway



Sumage Solution Audiobook Available Now! Video of my Q&A

Posted by Gail Carriger


Producer Bryan and I worked like demons (OK, OK, he and Kirt did all of the work) to get The Sumage Solution recorded and out as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, it just took a little too long for Amazon to process the files so it wasn’t timed to print/digital release perfectly.

But it’s available now!

The Sumage Solution is narrated by the immeasurably talented Kirt Graves. I found him because he narrated Wolfsong (which I recommend) and I know he’s comfortable with this style of book. I wanted a talented American male voice for this puppy.

So to speak.

As ever, Bryan Lincoln did my production, because he’s AWESOME. (And no, the character of Bryan has nothing to do with this Bryan. So get those minds out of the gutter… er.. forest. Sorry, gentlemen.)

Want to know more about recording audio?

Rhys Ford posted this amazing video: At the Dreamspinner Press Workshop with Greg Tremblay, Derrick McClain and Joel Froomkin

Speaking of video, here’s my…

Sumage Solution Launch Video Q&A!

In which Gail admits to being afraid of Neil Gaiman and other secrets.

I Mentioned Stuff!

Lilliput was very taken with my Facebook live…

{Coop de Book: Gail’s monthly read along for July is The Sumage Solution by G. L. Carriger.}


The Sumage Solution: San Andreas Shifters #1 by G. L. Carriger, now also in audio.
Contemporary m/m paranormal romance featuring a snarky mage and a gruff werewolf. Hella raunchy. Super dirty. Very very fun. Spin off of Marine Biology.

Can a gentle werewolf heal the heart of a smart-mouthed mage?


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

1900 vi antique-royals tumblr 4

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Strawberry Doughnut

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Book News:

Books on display at Borderlands, all now signed

Quote of the Day:

Questions about Gail’s Parasolverse? There’s a wiki for that!

Poison or Protect Audiobook! (Delightfully Deadly)

Posted by Gail Carriger


I’m delighted, Gentle Reader, to announce that Poison or Protect is now available as an audiobook. Find it on Audible & iTunes

This Parasolverse story, the first Delightfully Deadly Novella, is read by the amazing Suzanne Lavington and produced by Bryan Lincoln.

Poison or Protect

Can one gentle Highland soldier woo Victorian London’s most scandalous lady assassin, or will they both be destroyed in the attempt?

Lady Preshea Villentia, the Mourning Star, has four dead husbands and a nasty reputation. Fortunately, she looks fabulous in black. What society doesn’t know is that all her husbands were marked for death by Preshea’s employer. And Preshea has one final assignment.

It was supposed to be easy, a house party with minimal bloodshed. Preshea hadn’t anticipated Captain Gavin Ruthven – massive, Scottish, quietly irresistible, and… working for the enemy. In a battle of wits, Preshea may risk her own heart – a terrifying prospect, as she never knew she had one.

Now Available For Your Listening Pleasure!

I do hope you enjoy my second independently produced audiobook.

Now that we’ve things in order, I’m really trying to bring out audiobooks closer to the book’s release. If not always timed exactly to the print edition, at least as close as possible. This one should have been out 3 weeks ago but ACX QA delayed matters, over which I have no control, sadly.

Also, it all rides on the narrator. I’m obsessed with making sure I find the right narrator. I hope you understand that and don’t mind the occasional wait while I get it right.

Preshea’s character board on Pinterest:

More About Audio?

I love this chat between three great audiobook narrators. At the Dreamspinner Press Workshop with Greg Tremblay, Derrick McClain, and Joel Froomkin

5 Tips for Successful Audiobooks

{Gail’s monthly read along for June is Local Custom by Lee & Miller.}


The Sumage Solution: San Andreas Shifters #1 by G. L. Carriger
Contemporary m/m paranormal romance featuring a snarky mage and a gruff werewolf. Hella raunchy. Super dirty. Very very fun. Spin off of Marine Biology.

Can a gentle werewolf heal the heart of a smart-mouthed mage?


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Allen & Ginter (American, Richmond, Virginia)
Right Face, from the Parasol Drills series (N18) for Allen & Ginter Cigarettes Brands, 1888

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Dinner with Victor Hugo, 1872

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

“Don’t just write a strong female protagonist. Be one.”

~ A.D. Posey

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

“Writing is an act of faith, not a trick of grammar.”

~ E. B. White

Book News:

Quote of the Day:

The Gin Book Club says of Imprudence:

“In fact, everything about this novel felt more tangible to me than the first. The focus was in the right places: on the dirigible, the people, their interactions, the landscape and the events described.”

Questions about Gail’s steampunk world? There’s a wiki for that!
Share & Enjoy!

Romancing the Inventor is an Audiobook! (Supernatural Society)

Posted by Gail Carriger

I’m not going to bury the lead, darlings, because that is so not my style. Here, in all its glory is the link to buy Romancing the Inventor in audiobook form on Audible! (Also on iTunes.)

Concerning Audiobooks, Tea, & Mild Peril

Well my darling Gentle Reader, after scanning a bunch of articles (mostly useless) and poking some of my audiophile friends (mostly not used to my approach) I took a deep breath and ever-so-cautiously tried ACX. Imagine Gail clutching her new audiobook baby, trembling to her heaving (but well-supported) bosom. Teetering on the edge of the abyss in her 6″ stilettos.

Drama much?

Have I mentioned recently how much I suck at new technology? Well I do. It frightens me.

ACX, incidentally, is the (supposedly) easiest way to publish to audible and iTunes. And yeah, it’s yet another thing that belongs to Amazon. (Incidentally, I now have like 7 Amazon accounts, because god forbid publication occur all under one log in, but… I digress.)

It’s a process because there are a lot of files, so I had to get those from Bryan (my producer extraordinaire) and my internet has been hella whack recently. (Yeah, I said hella whack, I’m a norcal girl, sue me.) So that took, like, days. Then I had to upload them one by one to ACX, which took hours. And do I put in Chapter titles? This is always the questions. I decided yes because I am stupid-proud of my dumb pun chapter titles. And then we realized we needed other stuff, like credits, and then Em’s voice was shot due to a cold, and so forth…

But, it’s there now!

Why Romancing the Inventor first and not Poison or Protect?

Because I found Emma (my narrator) first, she was available immediately, and we decided she was much better suited to Imogene than to Preshea. Frankly, I’m going to see how this one sells. If I manage to recoup my expenditure, I will put another audiobook into production.

Why can’t I get it in Mazzoooka, on my Diddlewhap Player, on a CD/cassette tape/wax cylinder?

Because I can only get it out to the places ACX covers. Because I can only get it to the players that ACX supports. Because you need to give over obsolete tech. I know. It’s hard. Deep breath, let it go.

Why the weird price?

So far as I could figure out, Amazon DOES NOT LET YOU set the price. Not in the current UI. I know, I thought it was weird too. Probably something to do with the subscription model.

You wanna know more?

Romancing the Inventor is read by the incomparable Emma Newman. Emma is a killer narrator with a beautiful soft-and-proper British accent, a fantastic author, and a wonderful human being. Her voice is lovely and she was particularly good about both the lower class and the french accents in Romancing the Inventor which were important to me. We had a consult about pronunciation, so all names & Parasolverse words in the book are pronounced how I would pronounce them. If you don’t like it, blame me, not Emma.

Photo by Lou Abercrombie

Emma Newman writes dark short stories and science fiction and urban fantasy novels. She won the British Fantasy Society Best Short Story Award 2015 and ‘Between Two Thorns’, the first book in Emma’s Split Worlds urban fantasy series, was shortlisted for the BFS Best Novel and Best Newcomer 2014 awards. Her first science-fiction novel, Planetfall, was published by Roc in 2015. Emma is an audiobook narrator and also co-writes and hosts the Hugo-nominated, Alfie Award winning podcast ‘Tea and Jeopardy’ which involves tea, cake, mild peril and singing chickens. Her hobbies include dressmaking and playing RPGs. She blogs at www.enewman.co.uk and can be found as @emapocalyptic on Twitter.

Readers of my books may particularly enjoy her Split Words series, the first of which is Between Two Thorns.

Beautiful and nuanced as it is dangerous, the manners of Regency and Victorian England blend into a scintillating fusion of urban fantasy and court intrigue.

Emma also runs the Tea & Jeopardy podcast with her husband. It was through this podcast that I found her voice. I adore it and long time readers of this blog will have heard me talk about it before.

As ever you don’t have to take my word for it. Here is more on Audio Books – Options, Pros, Cons, Dos, and Don’ts

{Gail’s monthly read along for January 2017 is A Brother’s Price by Wen Spencer.}


Romancing the Inventor

Romancing the Inventor: A Supernatural Society Novella

A steampunk lesbian romance featuring a maid bent on seducing a brilliant cross-dressing scientist who’s too brokenhearted to notice. Or is she?


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Departure Platform, Victoria Station (c. 1880), by James Tissot. (Photo- Wikiart.org)

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Home Decor Gifts for Booklovers

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

What It Takes to Open a Bookstore

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

Ask Me Another podcast featuring Literary Favorites

Book News:

chaseau- -] Yeah… Looks much better scanned -D Soulless fan art.

Quote of the Day:

“Never trust anyone who thinks they can weaponize crumpets.”
~ Steampunk Worlds Fair

Questions about Gail’s steampunk world? There’s a wiki for that!
Share & Enjoy!

Where’s The Audiobook? Occasional FAQ

Posted by Gail Carriger

Dear Gentle Reader, this blog is part of my occasional FAQ series being comprised of questions I get a lot and would like to answer here in depth.

wher is the audiobook gail carriger

Where is the Audiobook of Gail’s latest…

Parasolverse tie in story?

San Andreas book?

Competence & Reticence outside the USA & Canada?

Audiobook Buy Button

If you can’t find it by clicking on the audiobook buy button on that book’s website page (and if you can’t, that button brought you here *waves*) or it’s not in Audible in your country, then this is what is going on…

The Sumage Solution Carriger Audiobook Free Download

Where is it?

  1. The story you are looking for may be in production. Sign up the Chirrup to find out exactly when it will release. (And if there are snags.) Also I give away audiobook codes pretty darn regularly.
  2. If you are outside the USA or Canada: There are likely distribution & rights issues in play. I’m working on it, struggling, or have given up.
  3. I’ve no plans to make it an audiobook.


  1. Audiobooks are costly. I only want to produce quality books. Therefore, I’m careful about investing in production. We’re talking thousands of dollars.
  2. Audiobooks are time consuming for everyone, so it’s unlikely one will EVER drop at the same time as an ebook.
  3. Voice talent is not easy to find. I only use high quality professional voice actors.

Why none at all?

Because the book you want in audio did not make enough money as a print/ebook to warrant the expense. If people don’t want to read or review my book in print, then likely they really won’t want to listen to it. I know you may want to, but you’re obviously unique.

  • If you are outside the USA or Canada and you know the audiobook exists (just not in your country), I suggest trying another platform like GooglePlay or buying directly from me.

But I REALLY WANT the book on audio, how about crowd funding it?


Time project managing is also money. That’s exponentially more work on the back end than you think it is, and while I enjoyed my Kickstarter experience with Crudrat, I am not inclined to do it again. Ever. Sorry.

Where’s the Audiobook of Gail’s latest Parasolverse series Novel?

What you’re asking about here, is traditionally published.

In the USA it drops within a few days of the first edition of the physical book. In the UK and other English language territories it can take up to a month for the audiobook to drop. Sometimes longer.

Are you looking for Competence & Reticence outside the USA & Canada?

  • I own foreign rights but I must rerecord (with a different narrator, pissing people off) or buy & redistribute the USA version. Both are prohibitively expensive.
  • I negotiated a distribution deal with the original publisher (Orbit), and they are supposed to be distributing them for me. Ask them why it’s taking so long.

Chirrup members are kept regularly updated on the woes and drama behind audiobook production. They also get a chance at audiobook codes on occasion.

Sometimes it can get very exciting indeed.

Other FAQs

Will you be using the same voice actress as the Parasol Protectorate (Emily) or Finishing School/Custard Protocol books (Moira) for other books?

No. Both are high-end professional voice actresses with multiple contracts for existing books. They do not have the time (nor do I have the funds) . However, if I find a voice actress I (and fans) like, who is comfortable with my range of accents, then I will try to use her multiple times. See Emma Newman who narrates How to Marry a Werewolf, Romancing the Inventor, Meat Cute, and more.

Romancing the Inventor Audiobook

Will you read/record your own books?

No. (See the part about high quality and professional. I am neither.) Although I would consider doing any non-fiction I write, myself.

Will you ever use an American voice actor?

Yes, for those stories that take place in America.

Listen to Kirt Graves narrate the San Andreas Shifter series.

Miss Gail, I want to do eeet! I can voice act with the best of ’em.

  • Do you have a professional voice acting website with samples and contract information?
  • How good is your accent range & do you have a reel?
  • Do you have a studio or booth and are your recording instruments high quality?
  • Will you work for hire (flat fee) and are your rates competitive?

Answer yes to ALL of the above questions?

Then you may contact me through the calling card feature on my website. However, I have a producer and he has the final say.

Will you do any more full cast audio (like Crudrat) or use multiple voice actors for multiple POVs?

Unlikely. I’m open to working with a producer on this but won’t do it myself. Here’s a sample of the first chapter to see what we’re talking about…




Poison or Protect

Poison or Protect narrated by Suzanne Lavington ~ Audible USA |  UK | FR | DE | iTunes | Amazon

How to Marry a Werewolf

How to Marry a Werewolf narrated by Emma Newman ~ Audible USA |  UK | FR | DE | iTunes | Amazon

Romancing the Inventor

Romancing the Inventor narrated by Emma Newman ~ Audible USA |  UK | FR | DE | iTunes | Amazon

Romancing the Werewolf

Romancing the Werewolf narrated by Peter Newman ~ Audible USA |  UK | FR | DE | iTunes | Amazon

The Sumage Solution

The Sumage Solution narrated by Kirt Graves ~ Audible USA |  UK | FR | DE | iTunes | Amazon

The Omega Objection

The Omega Objection narrated by Kirt Graves ~ Audible USA |  UK | FR | DE | iTunes | Amazon


Crudrat full cast produced by Artistic Whispers ~ Audible | iTunes | Amazon

The 5th Gender

The 5th Gender narrated by Michael Lesley ~ Audible USA |  UK | FR | DE | iTunes | Amazon

Meat Cute

Meat Cute narrated by Emma Newman ~ get the MP3 directly from me | Audible | Apple | GooglePlay

Soulless (and the Parasol Protectorate series)

Soulless narrated by Emily Gray ~ Audible | Apple | GooglePlay

Etiquette & Espionage (and the Finishing School series)

Etiquette & Espionage narrated by Moira Quirk ~ Audible | Apple | GooglePlay

Prudence (and the Custard Protocol series)

Prudence narrated by Moira Quirk ~ Audible | Apple | GooglePlay

Hidden in Pages says of Imprudence audiobook:

“The narrator does an absolutely wonderful job narrating and it was a joy to listen to. I kept finding myself creating reasons to listen to the audiobook so that I could listen to more.”

Midwest Book Review: Library Watch says of the Imprudence audiobook:

Imprudence will prove to be an enduringly popular addition to community library audio book collections and is a “must” for all science fiction and fantasy enthusiasts.”

I Am, Indeed says of the Imprudence audiobook:

“Narration for this story is provided by Moira Quirk, and she does manage to present both sides of every conversation with clarity and style: each character is distinct, the rapid-fire moments of dialogue don’t impede her forward progress, and there are appropriate pauses for breath, laughter and tension (when required).”

More on audiobooks!

Are You Self-Publishing Audiobooks? Why You Should Be

Gail Carriger on Audible

“…every carriger audiobook is like a being told you are going to get an entire month paid vacation with unlimited snuggle up doing whatever you want time, and loads of perfect cups of tea and cookies. It’s a dream come true.”

~  Megan


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

1874-1875The Museum of Fine Arts, Boston _ OMG that dress!

1874-1875 The Museum of Fine Arts, Boston _ OMG that dress!

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

Flower Island

Your Tisane of Smart . . .

The Northwest Passage

The Northwest Passage


Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  

A Traditional Publishing Timeline

Book News:

Characters on the Couch: Gail Carriger’s Imogene & Genevieve

Quote of the Day:

“I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.”
~ P. G. Wodehouse

More from Gail? Join the Chirrup!

Readathon Report

Posted by Gail Carriger


Accountability, Gentle Reader, is a dangerous thing.

So I committed to this readathon as soon as I found out it existed. I did a warm up post and during the event on Saturday I also conducted a mini challenge give away (one lucky person won a copy of Soulless limited hardback).

It was fun and, schedule permitting, I’ll do it again next year.

Gail’s Results!

  • Skim/rereads: 6
  • New read: 2
  • Samples read & rejected: 8 (3 because of formatting issues, reminding me that formattign must be excellent)
  • Audio short story: 3
  • Stretching sessions: 5
  • Cups of tea: 4
  • Breaks: 7 (lunch, category sorting, dancing round living room with the AB, cutting Lilliput’s nails, picking #readblock winner, dinner, groceries)

Total hours read: 11

Fuel & Encouragement included:



So yeah, I didn’t even get to half the 24 hours (which was my personal goal), but still that’s pretty darn good for me.

A recommendation based on my day of reading will be in the next newsletter.

Random thoughts of annoyance.

Someday ereaders will allow tagging, and show book summaries at a click (without leaving native), and my life will actually be complete. It’s frustratingly hard to locate a specific book on my device (I never remember title or author) and even more annoying to have to look up book information online and wait the interminable spin of a slow processor and refresh rate. Reminds me of the 1990s. Is it so hard to build an e-ink device where you can locate what you want, and check a back cover blurb easily?

And for those of you who cutely wish to comment with a “just read a paper book, Gail” might I remind you I fly almost 30 times a year? With all their faults, ereaders are still a way better option for frequent travelers.

Plans for next year’s readathon.

I think I really need to isolate, if possible, and not try to do this at home. Too many distractions.

{Gail’s monthly read along for April is To Play the Lady by Naomi Lane.}


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Le Bon Ton Thursday, July 1, 1858 Item ID-  v. 39, plate 116

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

A very Lord A tapestry

Your Tisane of Smart . . .
Steampunk Hands Around the World 2016 ~ Official Link List

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  
Editing Hacks


  • Imprudence ~ Custard Protocol Book the Second. In production. Releases July 19, 2016 in print & eBook to US.
  • Poison or Protect ~ A Delightfully Deadly Novella.
    Status: Editing. Cover art reveal to come. Release date to come.
    Gail’s first foray into hybrid land, romance featuring a several-times widowed Preshea and the gentle Scottish captain who could change everything.
  • Romancing the Inventor ~ A Supernatural Society Novella.
    Status: Awaiting first pass edit. Chasing cover art photo (failing miserably, help me)
    Gail’s second foray into hybrid land, LBGT romance featuring a parlormaid bent on seducing a certain cross-dressing inventor who’s too brokenhearted to notice. Or is she?


Gail Carriger’s Scribbles! 


 The Custard Protocol Series (1890s ~ ongoing)
1 Prudence, 2 Imprudence (July 19, 2016)

 $0.99 short stories (ebook only)
Marine Biology; My Sister’s Song; Fairy Debt;
The Curious Case (featuring Alessandro Tarabotti)

Book News:
My short story, Fairy Debt, is making an appearance in this anthology: Funny Fantasy (print to follow soon)

Quote of the Day:
“Such an easy thing, to be liked. All you had to do was make sure people didn’t know you.”
~ A Gentleman’s Position by K.J. Charles (I love this series)

Want Gail in you inbox once a month? Get the Chirrup!
Gail on Facebook & Twitter & Goodreads & Tumblr.
Gail’s fashion blog ~ Retro Rack.
Questions about Gail’s steampunk world? There’s a wiki for that!

Audible Now Offers Crudrat & A Carriger Quartet (Tinkered Stars & Short Stories)

Posted by Gail Carriger


Gentle Reader, I am delighted to announce that, finally, after a great deal of effort (thank you Dan) you can now buy the full cast audio production of Crudrat on Audible for $18. We are also offering an Audio CD through Amazon only (at the moment, we hope to find other distributors) for $25.

Crudrat is a YA sci-fi adventure in the style of Heinlein written with young women in mind. It was backed as a kickstarter for full cast audio. Learn more about Crudrat. Learn more about the kickstarter (now over).

Right now I have no intention of turning Crudrat into a print book. Ask me about it in person some time and I’ll explain my reasoning.

But there’s more!

You can also buy on Audible, bundled under the name A Carriger Quartet for $6, the full cast productions of my four short stories that were part of the stretch goals for the kickstarter. The Audio CD is $20 on Amazon only.

These stories are: My Sister’s Song (the first story I ever had published), The Curious Case (featuring Alessandro Tarabotti), Fairy Debt, and Marine Biology (my only existing contemporary M/M paranormal romance). Learn more about these short stories.

These stories are only available in print books when combined in an anthology. Both Curious Case and Fairy Debt have been recently picked up to appear in now anthologies in the coming year. I’ll let you know more when I do.

Questions Answered

The CDs are listed as Temporarily out of Stock. !?
Ignore. It’s a print-on-demand thing. They should ship if you order. If not, it’s Amazon being janky.

Can we get Crudrat and A Quartet on Audible in Australia, UK, or the rest of the world?
It should be available worldwide, we did trigger that setting when uploading to Audible. If you still can’t get it, it is available for sale on Gumroad via the Crudrat website as well.

What about the CDs worldwide?
Probably not.

MP3 CDs?
Still working on that one.

Kickstarter Update
There are a few kickstarter rewards still to come and there should be information on that coming to backers from my producer Dan very soon.

{Gail’s monthly read along for February is Terrier: The Legend of Beka Cooper Book 1 by Tamora Pierce.}


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Evelyn Tripp on the cover of Charm magazine, May 1954 via theniftyfifties tumblr

Your Infusion of Cute . . .
Incredible Footage Reveals How the Coconut Octopus Got Its Name

Your Tisane of Smart . . .
Portrait of a Lady, A Brief History of the term “Lady”

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  
99 Ways to Spread the Word About A Book You Love

Book News:
Tsana’s Reads and Reviews says of Crudrat: “I recommend it to fans of adventure-style SF and coming of age stories.”

Quote of the Day:

‘Bring my shaving things.’
A gleam of hope shone in the man’s eye, mixed with doubt.
‘You mean, sir?’
‘And shave off my moustache.’
There was a moment’s silence. I could see the fellow was deeply moved.
‘Thank you very much indeed, sir,’ he said, in a low voice.

~ Carry On, Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse


Want Gail in you inbox once a month? Get the Chirrup! 

Ending a Series ~ Tomorrow Manners & Mutiny Drops

Posted by Gail Carriger


Tomorrow Manners & Mutiny officially heads out into the world (yes, it shipped early in a few places). This is the last book in the Finishing School series.


Barnes & Noble



The Finishing School series was a lot of firsts for me. The first time I wrote YA. The first time I planned the number of books in the series from the very start. The first time I had a hardcover release. First time I visited schools.

And now it’s done. I’m feeling a lot of things about this: relief, happiness, euphoria, exhaustion, satisfaction, wistfulness, sadness. But out it goes into the world, regardless of my feelings.

Online Facebook Q&A ~ TODAY ONLY

If you have a question for me I’ll be running a Q&A on FB today starting at 2pm Pacific (although I’ll check up the rest of the day as well). Just in case, here are a few questions I keep getting that may be one of yours…

Questions Percolating On Social Media

Where is the audiobook?
The audiobook should drop soon in the US. I don’t know about elsewhere, I never know about elsewhere.

Will there be a box set or an ebook bundle of the four books?
I don’t know. Not for a while I don’t think. There hasn’t been any discussion.

Any word on Hollywood and the Finishing School?

Can we order signed copies online?
Sorry, no. That was a (catastrophic) 3rd book only thing. However, I’m considering offering one book plate to each interested newsletter subscriber (as a holiday thank you) next month. Also, you can call and talk to the bookstores on my tour, see if they offer a sign and ship service. If all else fails, I will be at Borderlands the first week of December and they certainly offer this service, and ship overseas. 888.898.4003 I am willing to personalize for bookstore orders.

Want to know more about how I feel ending a series? 
Here are the two blog posts I did upon the release of Timeless, the final book of my first series, the Parasol Protectorate: Ending A Series ~ Part 1: Practicalities and Ending a Series ~ Part 2: Emotions.

{Gail’s monthly read along for November is Manners & Mutiny by Gail Carriger}


Your Moment of Parasol . . .

Journal des Demoiselles Date-  Thursday, July 1, 1858 Item ID-  v. 39, plate 118

Your Infusion of Cute . . .

It was Lilliput’s 3rd birthday yesterday!

Your Tisane of Smart . . .
For Centuries, People Have Been Searching for Answers in the Bottom of a Tea Cup

Your Writerly Tinctures . . .  
“I mean, if you fool about too long at the start, trying to establish atmosphere, as they call it, and all that sort of rot, you fail to grip and the customers walk out on you.”
~ Right Ho, Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse


Gail Carriger’s Books! 

 The Finishing School Series (1850s ~ completed)
1 Etiquette & Espionage, 2 Curtsies & Conspiracies,
3 Waistcoats & Weaponry, 4 Manners & Mutiny


The Parasol Protectorate Series (1870s ~ completed)
1 Soulless, 2 Changeless, 3 Blameless, 4 Heartless, 5 Timeless

 The Custard Protocol Series (1890s ~ ongoing)
1 Prudence, 2 Imprudence

Parasol Protectorate Series manga graphic novels (1870s)
 $0.99 short stories (ebook only)
Marine Biology; My Sister’s Song; Fairy Debt;

Book News:
Amazon has M&M as one of their best books of the month in SF/F:

Quote of the Day:
“Now I see why Ari used to say that his younger brother only connected to reality at a few widely divergent points.”
~ Debra Doyle & James D. Macdonald, By Honor Betray’d

Gail’s fashion blog ~ Retro Rack.
The best place to talk all things Parasol Protectorate is on its
Facebook Group.

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