Sep242010

Dear Lord Akeldama

Locus steampunk issue featuring yours truly and Cherrie Priest – we may, or may not, be the same person.

In other news I am deeply excited to report . . . dum da da dum . . . I have a NEW electric kettle. For a tea drinker you will all be aware that this is a grave, and possibly extremely hazardous move. The tea must flow! My dear old silver bullet was beginning to leak so I invested in the highly recommended glass fancy-dancy Capresso.

So far we are getting along swimmingly and the tea continues to flow.

And now, I bring to you some Dear Lord Akeldama
In which everyone’s favorite indomitable vampire wields italics in your general direction.

@CapitolClio Asks what is to be done about men who wear pleated slacks.
Lord A: My darling pumpkin flower, nothing for it, immediate capital punishment. Ooo, snack time for meee!

@medusasmirror Wants to know how to wear a proper hat in a modern car.
Lord A: Darling, invest in a convertible!

@msdawnbaby Lord A, Need ur fab fashion advice. Choosing colors for my wedding. Navy & lavender, what wld u suggest 4 an accent color?
Lord A: Gold, my little perwinkle, lots of gold and sparkles! If you have a werewolf problem, silver is also good. Or champagne. Champagne goes with everything.

@charlesatan Dear Lord Akeldama, I’m a werewolf dating a ghost. Have problems getting intimate. Suggestions on how to overcome problems?
Lord A: Conversation makes for a scintillating start to any evening, and it’s something everyone can enjoy. However, and I hesitate to darken your romance, but I’m afraid you may be doomed by compatibility troubles. After all, you go bone bending one a month, and she’s got no bones left to speak of.

Anonymous asks: Fear of being bitten by vampires (no offense) & werewolves. What weapons do you recommend while still remaining fashionable?
Lord A: I have it on good authority that hair sticks make wonderful defensive weapons. I myself enjoy the occasion cravat pin of consequence and appeal. Your best defense, however, is in the company you keep, surround yourself with exquisite objects and dazzlingpeople and any attacker will be instantly distracted!

@Liliona Dear Lord Akeldama, I have lots of guy friends but they keep falling in love with me and when I don’t reciprocate, they bail. What can I do?
Lord A: My little prickly pear, believe you me, I truly understand your dilemma. I prefer the “anything is possible” approach. Always keep your options open! Simply stating something along the lines of: “My dear, how flattering, but I am embarrassed to admit that I have more than enough offers to occupy my time at the moment. Perhaps, in some three or four decades, if you would care to enquire again? My tastes and or inclinations might have changed.”

@fangbooks Asks if Lord Akeldama could share appropriate dance steps to use when celebrating another @gailcarriger addict declaring themselves?
Lord A: I shouldn’t wish to suggest anything too brash: a small minuet with a final double hand flourish for punctuation should suffice. (I believe the crass modern age may refer to this as Jazz Hands.)

Your moment of parasol . . .

Gail’s Daily Dose
Your Infusion of Cute:
Loot from my Blameless book tour. Fans give me gifts! How cool is that?

Best. Fans. Ever.
Your Tisane of Smart:
Sydney Opera House from the front = Darth Vader?

Your Writerly Tinctures:
I Should Be Writing #153 interview with Mary Robinette Kowal is so good. Not just the interview, but Mur’s beginning comment are so right on! Also if you like Austen, you should check out Shades of Milk and Honey.

In which Soulless wins over a book snob, “Perhaps it is my delight with etiquette, my love of Victorian literature, the allure of anything British, or just the sheer originality of a spinster supernatural dealing with vampires and werewolves while exhibiting the best of manners, but I truly enjoyed this book. The cleverness far outweighed the tongue-in-cheek cheesiness, and I am quite excited to read Changeless in the coming weeks.”
SPOILER ALERT!
Even bigger SPOILER ALERT! Really, DON’T READ THE BLURB ON AMAZON if you haven’t read the other books first. Series review from This Aint Livin says,”As if all this wasn’t enough, the books are, quite simply, really, really funny. Carriger has a light and deft touch and it makes the books super enjoyable in the grand old tradition of comedies of manners. They are crisp and very fresh, and if you’re looking for some simply fun reading, I would highly recommend them!”

Heartless: Rough Draft done. First draft with first readers. Final draft due Nov 1.
Super Secret Project F: Under revision.
CAKE in Space: Trunked.
See table of contents here, Steampunk II: Steampunk Reloaded available for preorder, releases November 15, 2010.
Short story turned in. The Mammoth Book of Paranormal Romance 2 available for preorder, releases October 12, 2010.

Quote of the Day:
“My own experience is that once a story has been written, one has to cross out the beginning and the end. It is there that we authors do most of our lying.”
~ Anton Chekhov

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Posted by Gail Carriger

 

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