Rune Bartlett asks: How you feel about becoming the adoptive parent to Lady Alexia and Lord Maccon’s child? Do you feel up to the task?
Of course, duckie, how difficult can it be?
Lousie asks: I hope I am not being terribly rude, for this question comes from the heart. Are werewolf/vampire relations truly incompatible? As a trendsetter is it not possible for you to lead the way in said relations?…perhaps with a certain chocolate and oxblood furred werewolf?
My dear little bean, one does not mix creams and acids, it just curdles. One must either pick lemon for one’s tea, or milk, not both.
Sarah asks: “Will you marry me? Love always, Your biggest admirer, S. (Waiting for your reply, midnight in Trafalgar Square. I have red hair and am wearing a pink blazer, likely with blue trousers and my favorite magenta top-hat. Kiss kiss!)”
My darling button, marriage is not for me, I prefer to think of myself as taken, not shackled.
neuroticred asks: I know his eyes aren’t the right color, but from your experience do you see Gerard Butler as giving a reasonable presentation of Lord Maccon?
Gerard whom? Butler, butler? Butler or actor? My darling Periwinkle, I believe you must be confused. Oh, you mean that loud toothy fellow with the amazing chest? I can see a passing familial resemblance. Them man is, if that travesty of a Sparta movie is to be believed, rather lacking in chest hair. But I’m certain there is the merkin equivalent available.
jaiser asks: Have you any fashion tips for gents off a rather more “stout” physique?
Corset, corsets, corset! They were invent for us gentlemen, did you know? So were high heels.
- Want to ask Lord Akeldama a question? You can only do that through Gail’s newsletter, the Chirrup.
BOOK DE JOUR?
Being a collection of vampire advice columns, silly steampunk philosophical treatises, and deleted scenes from the Parasol Protectorate and more!DEAR LORD AKELDAMA, TIMELESS, Victorian Fashion